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Be like the moon

 

Why seek attention? It’s simply not worth

Does the moon ever insist for the morning earth?

Why speak and act different, to grab that little span?

Is the night sky less beautiful with its moon-star clan?

Why feel low when the limelight eludes?

Do no moon days not promise a full moon new?

Why spread the bitterness about the illusionary less?

The moon gets unasked attention for its purity and calmness

Will the forced affection make you feel any better?

I asked the moon and it said, “I simply shine, rest doesn’t matter!!”

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The Manipur incident – An act of riot or an act of ego?

I started my day on a positive note. Mild workout followed by meditating on my manifestations. I thought I had filled my cup for the day and was looking forward to working on my task list. I opened the newspaper and on the front page, I read about the Manipur incident where 3 women were made to parade naked. I read it twice because I could not believe what I read.

I was disappointed and scared all at the same time. I tried reading the Speaking Tree, with a hope that it will discuss some virtue which will take my mind off the heinous incident, but I tried in vain. I did not wish to read any further, I shut the paper.

As I started my chores, I kept thinking that if by mere reading, I am so severely affected, what would be the plight of those who witnessed it and what would be the mental state of the victims who lived that incident.

There were questions in my head. Where are the virtues? Can anyone ever be so wrong for her to go through this? What paralyzed the onlookers? What kept the assaulters going, were they even human?

No, they were not human. Why? Because they did not hold any of the human values. They were not empathetic, not kind, not respectful and most importantly they had a big ego.

Ego is a silent killer and it has the power to steer you away from the path of righteousness. Your ego overshadows all the good that you possibly hold. How? Because in your quest to be right in your judgements and decisions, you resort to inappropriate thinking patters. Your ego makes everyone else look smaller, insignificant and not worthy of winning.

On a daily basis, we experience ego – sometimes we are egoistic and some other times we are negatively affected by the ego of others. But the latter is almost always, clearly visible and criticized. We fail to understand that what is more dangerous is self-ego because it makes us lose control of our mind. What are the early signs of self-ego?

1. You think you are intellectually superior to a large group of people

2. You believe your way of working is the ideal way

3. You don’t appreciate the individual interests of others if they don’t match yours

4. You cannot see others go ahead (small or big win, you feel the same)

5. You easily distance and disconnect from people

These incidents are a call to humanity to put a check on their egos. Knowingly and unknowingly, we tamper the peace of many, by fueling our self-ego. If you think you have even the slightest trace of any of the above 5 thinking patterns, self -realize and control it from growing bigger, else by the time you will act, the damage will be done.

What are your thoughts on the same?

#ego #behuman #behumble #humanity #humanvalues #valuesmatter

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5 ways how you can be sensitive to people who work for you

Your caliber and personality put you in a position of authority both in personal and professional life. Your virtues build a positive aura around you due to which people value your opinions and respect your decisions. In an organization setup you refer to this behavior as employee loyalty – Loyalty towards the leader and the company.

What are these virtues that make you a better leader/owner/employer? They are truthfulness, dedication and SENSITIVENESS towards people around you. These values are the base of a long-standing resourceful relationship between the higher and the lower strata in the society (based on money and position). Here we will talk about how to develop a nature of being sensitive towards people who work for you.

Value their time

Time is the only thing that we all have in common. The rule is simple – As much as you value your own time, you must also respect the time of others. Keeping your staff or employees waiting creates dissatisfaction among them. Why? Because they have put aside their commitments to be available for you. On the contrary, if you are before time, they feel valued and respect you.

Involve them in decisions

Delegation cannot continue for long. As the employee or staff take the learning curve, they want to actively decide their scope of work. If you do not provide the same, they become resentful or disinterested. These negative values affect the work quality. Regulated authority boosts enthusiasm and nourishes creativity.

Give them space

You need to keep in mind that they have their personal life too. Do not repeat instructions just to clear the clutter in your head. If the other is not in a frame of mind to discuss a topic, postpone the conversation if possible. Do not ignore the other person’s needs.

Recognize their contribution

Recognize their contribution and acknowledge it publicly. A minimum level of motivation keeps their spirit high. You develop humility as you appreciate because you come to understand that you are not the only one responsible for success – it’s a collective effort.

Let go

There are days when your junior or house help or team is in a bitter mood. They are curt or critical or simply off. If it is a one-off case, do not give much value to the incident. Resist the tendency to assume that if you do not put a check it will turn into a habit. Let it go. Why? First to protect your peace and second to give a benefit of doubt to the other. If it happens repetitively, then you need to take charge. 

When we talk about relations, we are very careful while we deal with our superiors. What one needs to work on is good behavior with the ones who are below in the hierarchy. How well you interact with your team and employees is a mark of your good leadership character.

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Value of trade-offs

A trade-off means – ‘An act of balancing between two opposing situations, qualities or things, both of which you want and need.’ I find this definition to be incomplete because it does not highlight a key feature of a trade-off which is, letting go of some needs and keeping some. Yes, a trade off implies you forego few opportunities and also relationships to make the most of what you decide to keep.

If you were to list the numerous instances where you felt tremendously pressed for energy and time, most of them would fall in the group of professional life v/s personal life. Balancing both is ideal but trade-off is the reality of everyday life.

Advantages of a trade-off over endless juggling

  • You become more passionate about every task that you take up at office or home.
  • You feel powerful because you know you have a choice.
  • You are at peace as you have limited priorities.

Disadvantages of a trade-off

  • You unintentionally limit your scale leading to a limited world view.
  • You need to continuously put effort to build acceptance around your decision.
  • You may often take guilt trips when you see others excelling at something that you have chosen to forego.

How can we make this trade-off easy? Following are 3 points to keep in mind

  1. Make a well evaluated choice which is driven by both facts and feelings. Understand the consequences well because many a times the change is irreversible. For example, you invest your savings in a course abroad, whether you are able to cope up with the vagaries of the new city or not you have to complete the course for better work opportunities.
  2. Know how to handle guilt. Here the best example would be of a working parent. While you meet your office deadlines you miss on your child’s milestones. Pre-empt the situations that will create heaviness in your heart and deal with them head-on. Do not waste time convincing yourself and others every time a new event comes up.
  3. Accept your limitations. While it is good to dream, keep your resources and capabilities in hindsight. Only when you accept your current state can you do a systematic trade off. Random half-hearted bouts will take you nowhere. For instance, your friend did the Everest Base Camp trek which you wanted to do too, but could not do due to a big family event in the same period. Plan the training schedule and take it up the moment you are released off your commitments but for the time being ACCEPT.

Golden rule

The length of the period of a trade-off decides the degree of its reversibility.

Think about it!!!

Following is the link to an article that appeared in the Speaking Tree. It supports my content and is also responsible for the thought of writing on the topic – ‘Value of trade-offs’

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/toi-edit-page/heisenberg-principle-and-trade-offs-in-life/

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Step by step, day by day

Don’t let someone define your goals for you

Don’t believe in the outside world view

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t get disheartened when you look around

Don’t be deaf to your inner sound

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t fear failures when things go wrong

Don’t worry if progress is taking long

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t be insecure when others soar heights

Learn to take inspiration, it makes you feel light

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t engage your mind in matters trivial

Think the bigger picture, stay jovial

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

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5 Thoughts on How to Unlock the Power of Routine

‘True power lies in routine’

Routine is mundane, routine is predictable, routine is boring. Another take on the topic is – routine is a symbol of consistency; routine creates order and routine is an innate part of your personality. When you believe in the latter perspective, you keep a well- decorated routine because you associate a sense of pride with the same. On the other hand, when you are oblivious to the benefits of a routine you tend to whine all the time. Whatever be your choice, the truth is routine is indispensable.

This phenomenon can also be justified by the way the Universe works. Nature is an integral part of the Universe. If you observe the elements of nature, they are always in super routine mode. The Sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the moon shows up each night exactly as per the phase it is supposed to be in, the tides rise and fall in a set pattern, the seasons arrive methodically. We, the human beings are also one of the elements in this vast Universe, how can we escape routine? And the one who constantly detests being in a routine, is not living up to his/her true nature.

How can you create an empowering routine?

Schedule time to clear your mind each day. A mind is a maze. For it to function well, you need to clear the clutter. Keep time aside to do this each day. Utilize this time to address the confusions that the mind holds with respect to perspective and decision. You will be able to give more to your day, as you release the intelligence blocked in the ambiguity.

Spend most of your day on the process. The result is always a by-product of the process. A good routine is one that keeps you occupied in improvising. Improvisation in any area of life – be it physical, emotional, intellectual, professional or personal is worth your energy and time.

Time to your passion is a must. Why? It puts you in a place of power, where you know you get to choose for yourself. Else it feels like, you are sitting in a boat being rowed by others or one that is drifting on its own. Make it a part of your routine and just like you eat and sleep, you will spend time pursuing what you like.

Follow the self-set standards diligently and it will reflect in how you move about doing your work on a day-to-day basis. Be busy in internalizing the routine and do not waste time in oversharing as it puts you off track. But at the same time humbly inspiring someone who is in need is your duty.

Plan your off-routine time. I have hit upon this idea in my earlier posts as well. By this I imply, when you feel overwhelmed by the regime, consciously plan a break. How does this benefit? It lets you respect your schedule even while you are off it. And it allows you to bring about necessary changes that lead to more improvisation (as per point 2). It gives you a sense that you will get back with renewed vigor once your break is over.

To end as powerfully as I started – “The secret of your future is hidden is your daily routine” – in the words of the wise Mike Murdock.

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How to deal with depletion? How to activate the energy levels?

We play various roles – of an employee, a parent, a friend, a partner, an entrepreneur, a member of the society. With technology advancements there is little or no self -space unless you choose to cut off with a strong intent.

The constant demands placed on us by the world, leads to a sense of depletion. Depletion is a feeling where you experience continuous reduction in energy as you shoulder your responsibilities. Depletion takes many forms. So, the first step is to identify the form of depletion followed by managing it.

Physical depletion

Here you feel physically tired. The ideal way to handle is a combination of workout and rest. Some exercise helps release the energy blocks in various muscles. Good rest gives clarity of thoughts. When physical depletion takes over silence and solitude also work well.

Intellectual depletion

This is experienced when you have not given time to learn about something new. Intellectual depletion can be taken care of by consuming good content. The ways are many – reading, listening to podcasts, watching videos and so on. Today, there is no dearth of valuable information. But what is important is to understand what your mind is seeking.

Emotional depletion

When you feel alone and depressed, you are emotionally depleted. In times like these meet and talk to your loved ones. Do not hesitate to share the state of your mind with a close friend or relative. It lightens the mind and prevents the depression from escalating.

Spiritual depletion

This may be felt like a void wherein you experience disconnect from your life’s purpose. You face heavy questions about the validity of your existence. This form is the most difficult to identify and express. What you need is a reconnection with the Universe? This can be achieved by meditation and mindfulness. The latter means being completely present in the moment.

The starting point for managing depletion is accepting your feelings of discomfort and fatigue. Do not try to be perfect all the time. Its ok to not be fine. Only after you accept will you be able to replenish and rejuvenate with patience. It may be hard to start because of the strong lack that you are feeling, but begin anyways, else the lack will only grow.

Share your views on what you just read and let the community benefit because depletion is seldom discussed.

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3 powerful practices that help simplify difficult goals

If I ask you – “What are your goals?” I will get answers like – I want to move abroad for higher studies, I want to buy my own house, I want to marry and settle down, I want to become the CEO of my company, I want to run the 21km marathon… and so on. Whenever we talk goals, we hear they should be measured and you should be focused. Following are certain vital aspects related to your goals that often go unnoticed –

Keep faith in micro goals

Micro goals are small insignificant goals that you derive from your macro goals. Do not let the term ‘insignificant’ confuse you. Here is why we should go for micro goals?

  • Micro goals are easy to pursue for a prolonged period.
  • Can be adopted around a demanding day as it needs less time
  • They are difficult to skip given their insignificant nature

As per an article that appeared in the Harvard Business Review – A micro goal should be followed till a point where it stops challenging you. Despite the sense of boredom that it generates, you should continue doing it for at least 15days and then increase the levels by as low as 10%. What does this do? It deeply embeds that habit in your routine. If you try to extend too fast, you are likely to give up. Their easy nature helps you to stay focused.

Be happy with your goals

There are people around the world who share their success stories, but remember it is your goals that will benefit you. Do not restructure your goals at the drop of a hat. Be happy and excited about your goals. Yes, it is difficult to maintain good enthusiasm when you are at the lower end of your achievement hierarchy. But if you continuously detest your goals or shift your goals you will not reach anywhere. Remember the decision to discard a goal is valid only when you have spent a good period pursuing it.

Reduce the importance of motivation

Motivation (self and external) is overrated and makes your thoughts weak. You continuously seek validation that leads to divided attention. Believe in the power of your manifestations and celebrate your small successes.

Do you agree that you should follow the above as you work towards your goals? Please share reasons for your decision and engage on the post to make it more meaningful.

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A difficult conversation on mind? Here are few things to remember

Can you recollect a recent difficult conversation that you had? How did it feel? It must have felt like a gush of emotions – anger, anxiety, guilt, confusion. None of these are healthy emotions and imagine what they do to your body and mind. There has to be a way to handle difficult conversations. Following are a few points that facilitate this handling. All these points concern only you and have no bearing on the other person with whom you are conversing.

Calmness

Here calmness is needed at three levels –

  • In mind
  • In choice of words and
  • In gestures and expressions

This helps you balance the negative emotions that tend to overpower you at the time of such conversations. Calmness keeps your mind and body healthy despite the gravity of the situation. Also, you attain a position of respect in the eyes of the others. They may not always admit the same but regardless it holds true.

Pragmatic references

Difficult conversations have a background that usually concern past and future events. In most of the cases you have either suffered in the past and kept patience or you foresee trouble in the future and feel anxious. This leads you into starting the conversation. While you refer to these events to make your case stronger, be pragmatic.

A subtle mention of your feelings and focusing on facts helps in holding a confident conversation. Facts make it easier to get the other person on the same level of thought.

Empathy

The other person is as powerful as you are and at the same time as affected. Empathy enables you to hear the other side. It lets you accept the other’s perspective. You never know if you have done wrong unintentionally.

Do not try to demean or dominate over their feelings because you can never force a person to feel your way. It is their own choice. A compassionate conversation makes it possible to find a mid -way out where both the parties have something to take away.

Progressive mindset

Progress happens in consensus. Progress is a product of mutual understanding. Progress is seen when you keep the bigger picture in mind. In both personal and professional areas, a progressive mindset creates a positive vibe at the time of a difficult conversation. It eliminates the vice of self- centeredness and changes the course of an otherwise bitter conversation.

If you think that handling diplomatically will hide your internal chain of thoughts, then you are mistaken. Even with average intelligence a person can see from where you are coming. This point lies at the core of making a tough conversation easy.

Courage

I deliberately kept this for the end. To initiate and to conclude a difficult conversation, you need courage. Courage to face the consequences physically and emotionally. Many times, it happens that you are about to confront and you tame down. You rehearse how you will approach, and you turn around. Why? Due to lack of courage. Have the courage to see it through the end and also have the courage to change course if you were wrong.

Difficult conversations are a part of life. Shying away from holding them is not a solution. The next time you have to give a negative employee feedback, or tell your partner about your individual growth plans, or approach your boss with a better alternative try to keep the above points in your head. I conclude with a final thought – “Most of the difficulty is an imaginary creation of your fears, it is not real.”

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The art of prioritizing

‘The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities’ – as said by Stephen Covey, an American educator and speaker well known for his bestseller 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Your mind is a maze that creates multiple options for utilizing every minute of yours.

For instance, a period of 30 minutes in your schedule can be used for a run, social interaction, project work, sleep, social media scrolling and many other activities. How to determine the perfect time-activity combination? Now that’s what we call the art of prioritizing. What understanding do you need to prioritize well? Here are some underlying factors –

Peace in sight

Quite often you experience that despite a long busy day, you feel incomplete. You feel a sense of lack. That is because work that gives you peace of mind, work that matters to you did not get the required attention and your day was consumed by other commitments that were of lesser importance. You should clearly identify activities that enhance your sense of self and make sure that you give them top priority.

Work-energy match

Energy is infinite but the levels vary during the day. Develop the habit of matching work to energy levels. Understand yourself and know at what time of the day your energy is at its peak and schedule intellectually and physically demanding tasks for that time. Leave the tendency to set everything in order before you start with the important stuff (more applicable to working women). Prioritize by your energies and you will find at the end of the day you will be a happily busy person.

Master the mind switch

Mind shuffle is when you switch from one task to other, each one requiring a different perspective and a different format of working. For instance, you are in an important meeting that needs presentation skills and immediately after the meet you have a get together that requires social skills. Prioritizing involves doing away with certain commitments to maintain a healthy mind switch. Trying to take up everything every day creates an illusionary sense of accomplishment. If you master the art of scheduling your priorities you lead a genuinely resourceful day.

Keep your mind light

Some activities take up a lot of space in your mind. Logically you know that it is no big deal but it lingers in the back of your mind till you do it. For example, activities that are not urgent but important like – Updating yourself about the latest innovation in your sector, evaluating the ideal extra- curricular option for your child, getting that small repair work done and much more.

The way to tackle this is either get the work done or know that it will get done and release precious mental space. Don’t let these activities clutter your to-do day after day. Don’t let it give you a feeling of you being a perpetual procrastinator by repeating it to yourself and others over and over again. Know that currently it is not your priority and thinking about it won’t help.

Each one of us has the same 24 hours. Yet there is vast difference in where we are in life. Where does the difference lie? The difference is not due to the family, or the position, or the society. It is due to an innate sense of prioritizing your day, ensuring that you put your time and energy to the best possible use.