The Theory of Drama

The Theory of Drama in Life

The good, the bad, the calm, and the chaos.

We share the chaos aloud while the calm feels ignored.

An accident, a delay, a spillage, or a failure.

We shout, cry, and make ourselves heard.

We share and relive the bitterness again and again.

And then we have the small progress and the little improvements

We keep it to ourselves and forget it the next day.

We don’t share or bask in the glory.

Why such a divided view of the good and bad?

Because bad means drama and good means peace.

And we all love drama!

Walk away from the drama and the good will be felt, heard, and seen.

You Have Come Far!

December is a month of self-reflection. You see the entire year in a flash and resolve to make the next year better. But what about acknowledging the distance that you have covered this year? Why is it always about what can be better? Why is it not about that which is good?

Our minds are trained to think of all that did not go well, making the year difficult.  But I am sure there have been days when it went great, and you achieved beyond expectations.

I call upon every reader to list the good days first and then ponder about the bad ones. You may argue saying “But I have not done much.” Yes, it’s ok because whatever little you have done is good enough. In a world that keeps putting pressure to improvise the good and make the better best, pause to acknowledge the good – in its simplest version.

Do you know what my wins look like?

In 2024 –

–          I practised monotasking better

–          I heard my children with patience

–          I controlled overthinking on at least 20% of the issues

–          I accepted my current state of success

–          I lived my decisions more confidently

–          I was more consistent on LinkedIn

–          I stayed strong on most of the difficult days

My list is very subjective with goals that cannot be numbered but it matters to me. Yes, another year has passed and to the world, I am still the same, but I know of all the internal changes that have occurred. Only if I acknowledge them will they expand and trickle into the other areas of my life.

Here is a short story to drive home the point

A poor man lived with his wife and six children in a cramped one-room house. Life was so chaotic that he could barely endure it. Desperate, he sought advice from a village sage.

The sage listened and gave surprising advice: “Take your animals—your cow, goat, and chickens—into your house.” Though puzzled, the man obeyed.

The house became unbearable, so he returned to the sage. “Remove the chickens,” the sage said. The man complied but still found the house chaotic. “Remove the goat,” the sage then advised. When the goat was gone, the man returned again, complaining about the cow. “Take the cow outside,” the sage said.

The next day, the man returned to the sage, smiling. “Life is wonderful now,” he said. “Without the animals, our house feels spacious and peaceful!”

The sage’s wisdom had shown him how to appreciate what he had.

Source: How the Children Became Stars by Aaron Zerah

When motivating others, we do a fabulous job by glorifying even the smallest of their achievements. But when it is about self, we downplay and over-expect. Why can we not be considerate of ourselves before others?

One school of thought says that the considerate approach breeds complacency. However, I strongly believe that a constant feeling of lack – lack of opportunity, lack of resources, lack of time, only leads to further lack in life. It is time we respect our journey and feel joyous of where we have reached.

She Slowly Holds Both Fire and Calm Within

She lives a life that is not hurried. She takes her day slow. She gives her 💯 to every small or big task. But she does not multitask.

She does not skip her noon nap even on busy days. Her workout is the most special part of the routine, where she systematically enhances her will and strength. But she does it all slowly.

She keeps her to-do list small and meaningful. A wise old lady once advised her, “Specify 3 priorities on any given day and once accomplished mark your day as successful.” The lady was not a therapist or a consultant, but the simple advice has stayed with her since then. And though she plans her day meticulously, she is at ease, not hurried.

She works remotely and is happy with her progress. She respects where she is because she has reached here with determination and consistency. She ideates, implements, and evaluates. She respects the gradual progress that she has achieved.

She gives time to her family but takes care and keeps a dependency check. Her ways look old-school but she cooks simple meals for her family members with love. She looks forward to her slow-paced day that has a little bit of everything.

She plans for the next day but she consciously keeps her schedule easy. She is resourceful and professional but does not compromise on her peaceful pace.

She is learning new skills, not always with an end goal. Each time she feels socially intimidated, she asks herself “Did I ever want this?”

She vibrates on a higher abundant frequency where she has TIME FOR EVERYTHING. She is surrounded by multitaskers, thorough professionals, worked-up managers, anxious planners, big dreamers, and star achievers, all busy and engaged, but she loves her slow day and slow progress!

Share Your Story…

It was the last 2kms of our 4-day trek to Chandrashila (12000ft) in Uttarakhand. We had a turnaround time and I had to decide on whether I would continue because my fellow trekkers were waiting. I had already trekked for 4 hours and I broke down because the summit was just 2kms away and I was tired.

At that moment a friend who had been with me since the beginning of the trek became a living inspiration. We had been together for the last 4 days and she was ever so quiet. She shared brief stories from her previous treks and a little bit more. She trekked alone and was superb in descent.

That is all I knew about her till this moment. She saw me weak and she said softly – “I am a cancer survivor and once I overcame the fear of dying I engaged in every adventure sport because I realized no feeling is worse than the thought that you may JUST die without trying, without experiencing. In the last 2 years, I have done bungee jumping, scuba diving, and treks, because I felt what dying was like.”

That’s it, said nothing more, she smiled with moist eyes, turned around and started trekking. I was stunned and speechless. Suddenly the pain and fatigue seemed nothing. My issues became so petty that I could no longer hold on to them.

She looked back, gestured for me to come along and I resumed. Every step gave pain, and every breath felt heavy but a voice inside kept saying – “I am going to conquer this!”

I came across a post on LinkedIn about how one should share their stories, which may become a survival guide for the other. This article is an inspiration from the same.

The Voice Inside

Silence and space hold many answers. Why do we feel good on a retreat? Because there are no sounds or commitments. We enjoy the openness of space because otherwise we are bound to our homes and workstations.

When we shut the noise we can hear the voice inside. We can hear the voice inside when we create a space between self and the other.

Most of the time the voice asks us to make tough decisions like –

– Detachment

– Disconnection and

– Discontinuation

from work and people.

The mind is feeble and fears the consequences of the decision, but the voice keeps repeating. Because the voice knows that the reality is not as grave as it seems to the mind. The mind has a habit of overplaying and overimagining. This inner voice keeps you rooted in reality. It clears all the mental drama and

Listening to the voice carefully and upholding what it says requires tremendous courage.

But it is the only way to feel liberated.

Today, listen to the voice and do what it says!

Importance and Easy Ways for Building Acceptance

Acceptance is a nature, a habit. The way we develop good habits like, eating healthy, sleeping well, and exercising we need to build acceptance. Acceptance is a powerful state which releases energy blocked in the following –

  • Complaints and resentment
  • Continuous hoping for things to be different and
  • Anxiety about the future

These habits drain us of vital energy, and we keep shouldering our responsibilities unenthusiastically. We feel less accomplished despite giving all that we had. But the truth is a large share of our zest for life is consumed by non-acceptance

Social media plays a crucial role in enhancing the state of non-acceptance because we forget that no one is posting their failures. Travel, fashion, family, art, and everything else intimidate and make us dislike our current state.

Developing acceptance is a conscious process that requires time. One factor that gets in our way is that we equate acceptance with surrender. We feel that this habit makes us vulnerable, so we lash back with full strength, only to give in once again because everything in our lives is meant to be just the way it is!

Why is it important to develop acceptance?

Following are some reasons why developing acceptance is important

  • You feel enthusiastic because you accept that you have to work.
  • You are less irritable as there is minimal to zero internal resistance
  • You celebrate the success and achievements of others
  • You direct your energies towards being and not simply doing

The crux is that acceptance brings back the lost joy in our lives. The lingering uneasiness about the past and the future ceases to exist, and we become one with the present, an empowering and powerful state.

How do you develop acceptance?

Developing acceptance is not complicated because it is our true nature. The Universe is designed based on the principles of acceptance, and we are a part of it. Other living beings never question their state or situation and continue to grow.

It is important to uphold our values and beliefs, but unchecked non-acceptance often transforms into a big ego. It is exhausting to fight the world but equally effortless to do all that is in our control with complete acceptance.

Following are some ways to develop acceptance –

  • Understand that it is not a subdued and vulnerable state and consider it the starting point of change.
  • Don’t stick to the perfect solutions and accept that you may need to think and act alternatively
  • Stop looking at any situation as permanent, and know that it is a phase which will pass.
  • Be proud of how far you have come. Change self-pity into self-respect
  • Learn to let go and move on. Acceptance demands complete attention, and we cannot afford to hold on to grudges.
  • Be grateful for what you have so that you can use it to accomplish more.

Acceptance opens the mind to new solutions and helps keep peace inside and outside. Be it macro issues like wars, or micro issues like work pressure, all stem from non-acceptance of the current situation.

Let me end the article on a positive note, requesting you to accept at least one thing that you otherwise resent.

Happiness is a Mindset

Happiness leaves no scars, hence it is easy to forget.

The human mind finds meaning in problems and negativity. The moment you drive it towards positivity and happiness it throws the following words at you –

– You are foolish

– You are so innocent

– You are vulnerable

– You are weak

– You do not accept the reality…

It systematically challenges your positivity. And you fall into the trap and start acting otherwise.

Whenever these thoughts come in to bother you, reiterate and tell yourself

– I want to do my best no matter what

– I want to give unconditionally

– I want to forgive and let go

– I want to live fully and freely

– I am secure and no one can take advantage of me

Fight the battle with strength and soon the negative pattern will cease to exist paving the way for foolish optimism (as they call it). But don’t you think it is better than energy-draining pessimism?

Know How Humble You Are!

Humility is a superpower!

Check how humble you are by answering the following 5 questions –

1. Do you mention how you contribute to the team or spend your day without being asked?

If the answer to this is yes, you are not humble. You may argue that you are just narrating facts, but the reality is that you are superimposing yourself on the other by glorifying your ways.

2. Do you always feel extra pressure in team/group projects and presentations?

If yes, it means you lack humility. If you self-analyze you will realize that you feel the pressure more because you consider yourself above others and doubt their abilities.

3. Do you micromanage intentionally or unintentionally?

If yes, it means you are far from being humble. Micromanaging is not for the good of the project or others in the team, it is because you consider your ways superior.

4. Do you always find a negative in the other person?

If yes, then you need help with humility. When you always find a negative in the other, it implies that by mentioning the negative you want to establish your supremacy over the other.

5. Do you use a lot of ‘I’ in your conversations?

If yes, then consider it as a subtle sign to recheck how humble you are. When discussing your day with your spouse or a friend if you throw a lot of ‘I’s’ like – I did this, I did that, I thought about it, I faced it, and so on, it means you are self-obsessed with your ways.

The opposite of humility is not pride, it is stagnation because humility means growth.

I hope the above questions will steer your mind towards humility, an important virtue!

It’s Time We Judge a Woman in the Light of Her Beautiful Dreams

A messy home = A messy woman

👆 our society believes.

But if you closely observe a messy home indicates that the woman of the house is pursuing her dreams.

She prioritizes and takes the important energy-consuming tasks first, followed by routine house chores that can be done in autopilot mode. Till then the house lies as it is.

She is designing a new product or has joined a new team, and she cannot cook new delicacies every day. The commitments demand time and once she settles she will cook your favourites.

She is feeling weak and wants to devote some time to her health, and she prefers not to do laundry every day. Exercise needs consistency and soon she will make it a habit.

She is connecting with new clients to promote her venture and has little time to socialize. Soon she will have a set clientele and will have the time to meet and greet happily.

She is pressed for time and expecting a hand with housework. The day she is easy, she takes up extra cleaning and sourcing.

She had a long day and needs rest. The next day morning she will be full of energy and balance everything.

We need to understand that there is a reason why she is unavailable. We need to appreciate that she is dreaming, aspiring, and building.

A messy home = An ambitious woman

P.S. – She cannot visualize her growth in her children and spouse because she has her independent calibre.

How to Make Your Work Speak

Do you feel that you don’t get the credit that you deserve?

Living out of a state of constant regret is not a good thing. The feeling is depressing, and it keeps pulling you down.

You may be thinking – “I know that. But what can I do? Every time I can’t keep mentioning what I did for the project. It is for the others to understand.”

I agree that keeping your work ‘high-key’ is not a good approach either.

While this an intense topic, here are a few things you can do to handle this issue –

  • In project meetings, share your views with confidence. It indirectly implies that you have done your homework.

  • You can try giving a brief overview to your senior (in case he does not know) of your contribution. Remember, it is professional, not impolite.

  •  If you are working on a particular part of the project, try to see it through to completion. Even if you require technical assistance, ensure that the final result is as planned, which means you have done your job thoroughly.

  • Do not discuss it bitterly with colleagues and family. Remember, it never helps and only increases the resentment.

  • Do not keep feeding the feeling. The more you think about it, the more vulnerable you become. It assumes its worst form when you fail to distinguish between real and imaginary. You feel ignored and unnoticed every time, even if the reality is different.

The feeling of being unnoticed is a highly internalized emotion that acts as a slow poison and empties you from the inside.

It is wise to accept the situation and take the above steps to improve the situation. It is also a good idea to shift focus on areas where you excel.

As you transcend from acceptance to improvement, be calm. Haphazard efforts will create chaos and make you look like some desperate attention seeker.

Always keep in mind – Let your work speak!