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3 Habits to Help Energize the Present Moment

The present moment is all you have

How does the present moment feel? To me, it feels like attempting to put my thoughts into words. That’s it. The now is always simple. What makes it complicated is the past and the future. You spend a lifetime brooding over the past about which you cannot do anything, or you keep anticipating the future which you cannot live until its time. So all you are left with is the current moment, the present, and the now.

Experiencing the now is not an alien experience. We all felt it when we did that adventure sport or sat by the river looking at its flow. When in the middle of the traffic, the bright orange setting sun caught our eye, while dancing to our favorite song in the pub, while leaving in the wee hours of the morning to catch the early morning flight, or after a deep noon nap. The instances are many but are short-lived. As you try to gauge the profoundness, the moment just slips away.

What if there is a way to make this state of mind permanent? The following are 3 habits that can help you energize the present moment and live it to the best of your abilities.

1.Give Yourself to the Task at Hand

Tasks are of two types – one which you need to do as a part of your role and responsibility. The other which you do is out of passion and love. The former takes a major share for most of us creating a sense of boredom. One way to make the mundane interesting is by giving yourself completely to the task at hand. This habit enables you to get creative with your routine and you no longer function in autopilot mode. You are more aware of your current action which makes it a good experience.

2. Bring Your Mind Back to the Moment Again and Again

The mind is a monkey – is a light phrase that indicates that the mind is always jumping between the past and the future. How do you train the mind to be in the resourceful present? You simply bring your mind back to the present moment again and again. You watch your thoughts and make sure they are concentrated on the now. Gadgets and people around often make this difficult but it is the only way to exercise your brain to let it focus on the moment.

3. Journal Your Thoughts on the Above

Journal your thoughts and feelings on the above two habits at the end of each day. This will give you a solid understanding of the technique. It will also boost your confidence in the newer better way of living. The journal may read as follows –

  • I enjoyed making my cup of coffee
  • It was a struggle to bring my attention back to the presentation in the office.
  • For the first time, the red flower in the park looked so beautiful to me.
  • I made sure to be completely involved in the conversation with my colleague.

The above are 3 simple habits but their impact is enriching. Once an energized present moment becomes our way of life, everything feels effortless. The lightheartedness associated with being in the now will make your life joyful.

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5 Tips to Enjoy a Big Fat Indian Wedding

It’s wedding season and you just received an exclusive invitation to a big fat Indian wedding. The invite is designed by the most creative minds with the perfect colors and templates. You feel happy because it is an outstation wedding, a well-deserved break from the routine. You set the dates in your schedule and book the tickets almost immediately to get them at reasonable rates.

After this, the visit to the wedding lies in your subconscious mind and you end up mentioning it to colleagues, friends, family, and so on. As the date approaches it dawns upon you that you are yet to see the invite in detail. Once you open the 10-page digital invite (the physical one being too bulky and artsy), you realize there is a detailed dress code for every event. There are days when you are changing clothes almost thrice a day.

The prominent and latest outfits in your wardrobe flash before your eyes and you allot as many as possible. Aahh!!! You take a sigh of relief, that you are at least 50% there. As the wedding gets closer, you try, buy, choose alternatively, accessorize, and discuss with others who will be accompanying you. Admit it or not, it does get tedious at one point in time.

Is there a way to simplify and make the process of preparing for the big fat Indian wedding enjoyable? Are there some tips to maintain reasonable enthusiasm levels while you spend weeks planning for a 3-day wedding? I have a few for you –

Be Comfortable in Your Skin

The pressure to look the best is a worthless pursuit. Be comfortable with

  • What you already have with you
  • The patterns that suit your personality and
  • The expense that your pocket can afford

Play Around With the Theme

Adhering to a theme in a function makes you feel a part of the celebration. It also makes the host happy. You can

  • Accessorize to gel in the theme
  • Mix and match but with confidence and
  • Scan your wardrobe thoroughly before buying

Choose Comfort Over Style

This overlaps with the first point. But the former was about the inner dilemma and this is about the weather conditions. If the place is hot, carry lighter wear even if it looks semi-casual. If the place is cold, carry good overcoats and zippers. Pack according to the weather and chances are you will enjoy more.

Set a Minimum

In your quest to get an authentic look, do not forget to set a minimum. Multiple footwear, cosmetics, and alternate outfits will only add to the time you take to pack, unpack and get ready.

Do Not Overthink

Once you have finalized an outfit for a function, at the max you can rethink once (twice for women) and that’s it. Don’t overdo it because it makes you feel tired even before you depart and also you lose confidence in your decision.

I would like to leave you with a light thought, as you plan your perfect look, please do not forget to smile because that is what will make you beautiful. Even pre-wedding as you shop and pack don’t stretch yourself too much and be sure that you will be in for some good fun. The host is happy to know that you will be there keeping your commitments aside and you too should be happy for the same reason.

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5 Ways to powerful use of ‘Silence’

In silence many answers lie

In the middle of a heated argument on feminism she chose to remain silent. She carried a wise smile and people around thought she had no opinion. But she was crystal clear in her mind and heart. Silence has its own beauty, its own message – one of the post powerful forms of response.

I have listed 5 ways by which you can use SILENCE effectively to your advantage. The advantage being you keep your peace of mind even in the most desperate of the situations.

Where your opinion does not count

You meet people in life who seek opinion but every single time they do what they think is right. There is nothing wrong with it. But you getting involved even momentarily, empathizing and giving your suggestion is simply a waste of time. Consciously identify such people and choose to remain silent.

Where there is need for some space

Many a times there are arguments that blow out of proportion. Both the parties that are involved go aggressive with strong opinions and high pitches making the situation bitter. In such a scenario one can choose silence to create a space for both the parties to rethink and react. This is applicable in both personal and business life.

Where the banter is unnecessary

In every social circle there is gossip and back biting. Engaging occasionally is one thing but becoming a regular (just because staying silent puts you in a dim light) takes you nowhere. Yes, man is a social animal but be selective with how you socialize – be a part yet not be a part. Let socialization be for good – stay silent and the conversation dies its own death, giving you a chance to steer it in another direction.

When you don’t have knowledge

There are forums and topics about which you have little or no knowledge. In such a situation be present to listen and learn. Today everyone wants to talk sometimes blabber with whatever little they know in their heads so that they appear updated. There is no harm in not speaking because it is humanly impossible to know it all. Accept that they know more, they know better.

When there is need for peace

Peace eludes us as we multi task and juggle with a tight to-do and too much to handle on every single day. You would be surprised to know what some silence can do to your day. It re-energizes, it allows you to self-converse, and it saves you from burn out. Whenever you feel overwhelmed give silence a shot and see how it works wonders.

Go for silence with full confidence – it will only solidify your character. Drawing a little something from mythology many revered saints practised ‘MAUN’ though their wisdom was beyond the reach of a common man. The intelligent one knows when to talk and when to remain SILENT…

In the comments section tell me about a situation where choosing silence helped you better.

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Let’s talk heart to heart

Meditation, spa, sleep, vacationing – the words give immense peace. In fact the mind starts wandering in the imaginary bubble where we are engaging in these activities. Why do they rejuvenate? I guess they break the monotony, allow us to stop thinking about our commitments for a while. One such getaway could also be a heartfelt conversation with someone close to you or someone with whom you just connect. In the quest to have an active social media presence we have forgotten the charm of a good conversation.

The following three points are a feeble attempt to put the abstract gains of an undistracted chat in words:

It helps us to learn values when the other person shares his/her ways of handling of uncomfortable situations. Why am I so sure about this? Because as a conversation gets deeper, the ‘not so good’ part of a person’s life is out naturally. Post its out in the open it is human mindset that they will either share their virtuous approach or they will confess how they did not manage it well. In either case you learn.

It helps to catch vibes. Yes you may argue how is that a benefit? While having a good concentrated conversation as we discuss the highs and lows, we emit a mix of positive and negative vibes. While a positive vibe is all good to take home, in case of a negative vibe as you try to correct that person (you would do it because you don’t have meaningful self-dwelling conversations with anyone and everyone) in the process you end up checking your behavior too.

It helps us to understand how are life is not as bad as we sometimes feel it is. As it is only during such conversations that you come to appreciate all that you have.  The interaction makes you feel lighter and more often than not leaves you wiser.

Empathy encompasses all the above feelings as unintentionally you do put yourself in the other person’s shoe – And empathy is a value that is seriously lacking in today’s times because people consider empathy to be synonymous with surrender and unnecessary sacrifice. It has lost its original meaning which was unconditional love. 

Now I would like to steer you to how we can have a heartfelt conversation so we move on from abstract to real visible factors.

The first thing to keep in mind, I know every reader must have guessed by now – No mobile phone checks. Taking a call may be necessary; if you are in between some important task being available is necessary. But we all know where we stand – unnecessary checking of social handles and scrolling. Boom!! The conversation is wasted.

Be a listener. Don’t engage in a talk to answer, to show your greater side. While the other person is speaking, you cook up your response/reaction well in advance. What is the harm is taking a pause to register what he/she has said and then replying or sometimes may be not responding at all as you have nothing much to say.

Treat it as meaningful. Today cafes, restaurants, open public spaces are used more and more to do more work. People everywhere are seen with laptops and mobiles attending to messages, emails (both work related and casual). Two people simply talking are looked upon as old school or may be less busy. Shatter that cliché. I would say it is modern; it is in vogue to have a mindful and good conversation with someone whom you wish to connect with.

Be it a group of men or women or kids who are out together – I notice a disconnected, a continuous stream of halfhearted exchange of words. Same is the story between two lovers, parent and child or any two people who are known to each other. We are unknowingly missing out on a lot due to these incomplete conversations – that lack feelings and attention, words and learning. May be this somehow links to rising cases of depression in all age groups?

Take a moment to ponder and recollect your last healthy conversation – when, where, with whom? Let us learn to talk, to listen and to engage with full interest and inclination.

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Lock down revelation-The social frame

Lockdown has urged us all to step inside not only our homes but also our minds, our souls. I wonder that after things go back to normal do we want to go back to ALL that we have left behind. With me, multiple activities have been revisited and rendered futile during this period. I may not want to go back to that mythical busyness, where everyone simply tries to fit in a frame – ‘A Social Frame’

The social frame is strange. We look up to others and decide our course of action. We fear not going to a weekend party, no sending our child for extra- curricular, not having a perfect figure, not vacationing abroad…. Why? I think largely to fit in that frame. We squeeze ourselves, we struggle straining ourselves and without realizing. In our quest to multitask we burn out and burn the resources around.

Covid has directly hit and shattered that very social frame into pieces. You pick any of the pieces – you will see your own reflection…