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Value of trade-offs

A trade-off means – ‘An act of balancing between two opposing situations, qualities or things, both of which you want and need.’ I find this definition to be incomplete because it does not highlight a key feature of a trade-off which is, letting go of some needs and keeping some. Yes, a trade off implies you forego few opportunities and also relationships to make the most of what you decide to keep.

If you were to list the numerous instances where you felt tremendously pressed for energy and time, most of them would fall in the group of professional life v/s personal life. Balancing both is ideal but trade-off is the reality of everyday life.

Advantages of a trade-off over endless juggling

  • You become more passionate about every task that you take up at office or home.
  • You feel powerful because you know you have a choice.
  • You are at peace as you have limited priorities.

Disadvantages of a trade-off

  • You unintentionally limit your scale leading to a limited world view.
  • You need to continuously put effort to build acceptance around your decision.
  • You may often take guilt trips when you see others excelling at something that you have chosen to forego.

How can we make this trade-off easy? Following are 3 points to keep in mind

  1. Make a well evaluated choice which is driven by both facts and feelings. Understand the consequences well because many a times the change is irreversible. For example, you invest your savings in a course abroad, whether you are able to cope up with the vagaries of the new city or not you have to complete the course for better work opportunities.
  2. Know how to handle guilt. Here the best example would be of a working parent. While you meet your office deadlines you miss on your child’s milestones. Pre-empt the situations that will create heaviness in your heart and deal with them head-on. Do not waste time convincing yourself and others every time a new event comes up.
  3. Accept your limitations. While it is good to dream, keep your resources and capabilities in hindsight. Only when you accept your current state can you do a systematic trade off. Random half-hearted bouts will take you nowhere. For instance, your friend did the Everest Base Camp trek which you wanted to do too, but could not do due to a big family event in the same period. Plan the training schedule and take it up the moment you are released off your commitments but for the time being ACCEPT.

Golden rule

The length of the period of a trade-off decides the degree of its reversibility.

Think about it!!!

Following is the link to an article that appeared in the Speaking Tree. It supports my content and is also responsible for the thought of writing on the topic – ‘Value of trade-offs’

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/toi-edit-page/heisenberg-principle-and-trade-offs-in-life/

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Step by step, day by day

Don’t let someone define your goals for you

Don’t believe in the outside world view

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t get disheartened when you look around

Don’t be deaf to your inner sound

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t fear failures when things go wrong

Don’t worry if progress is taking long

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t be insecure when others soar heights

Learn to take inspiration, it makes you feel light

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t engage your mind in matters trivial

Think the bigger picture, stay jovial

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

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Achieve your dream of living an ideal day – Part II

As committed in the last blog, this post is about more habits that will help you live an ideal day. Personal development should be a constant endeavor. It is one of the worthiest pursuits for each one of us because we are our most valuable resource. Following are some interesting habits that can make your day more meaningful –

Save energy

Energy is infinite and it is the reason of all activity and existence. Know what depletes your energy and take active steps to tackle it. One of the biggest energy depleters is holding hard feelings against people. All the attention that you give to developing and nurturing a negative feeling towards a person, consumes too much of your emotional and physical energy. It will be impractical to say that be good to all, so what I mean here is if someone does not give a good vibe, disconnect. Stop thinking about that person or situation every time it comes to you. Every single time you discourage that thought, you save some energy.

Time management

This is a topic in itself that we will definitely cover in the posts ahead but in the context of this post, time management is inevitable to get the desired value from your day. As discussed in the post before, an ideal day should have a little development in every form – physical, emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual and professional. Yes, you cannot attend to every parameter each day but each of these should be attended to consistently. This is where your time management skills come to your rescue. Prioritizing, setting up target timelines and working with focus are the key. Adhering to time standards set by self is a rewarding experience.

Go with the flow

This contradicts the habit that we just read about. But the fact remains that as much as you try to be in control of your day there are situations that are beyond your reach. In times like these it is intelligent to go with the flow because resistance makes you feel tired. I do not suggest that you should be over accommodating, but more often than not coming back to the task after an unexpected interruption puts you on track. Only when your mind is stuck on the abruptness of the flow-break, you are paralyzed and you fail to accomplish. Whatever it is, take it in your stride and go with the flow.

What you have achieved in a day gives you partial elation. It is more about how you have achieved it. Let the power of your habits put you in a place that is better than yesterday. Like a master sculptor carve your days carefully and intricately. The simple reason being that days make a week, weeks make a month, months make a year and years make a LIFE.

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Achieve your dream of living an ideal day – Part I

At the end of the day when you look back what do you find? You find how you were engaged in a mix of many activities – personal, professional, social and others. You identify how you lived moments where you were organized and also your moments of chaos. This takes us to the next question – How to live an ideal day? There is no standard rule book that can define a good day but following are some habits that never go wrong –

Rise early

When you rise early you create a much-needed space for self. You can take up any activity that enriches your being. Reading, exercising, meditating – you can do whatever attracts you. One thing is of utmost importance that the period of early morning is sacred so do not feed yourself with wrong content in any form. Secondly resist the temptation to get drawn into the routine early with the intention of getting extra work done. Strictly reserve that space for self.

Mind your conversations

Converse less about people and more about ideas. Do not engage in depleting conversations that involve, judging, criticizing and complaining. The habit of accepting the choices others make for themselves keeps your mind light and open. Refrain from prolonged discussions about your anxiety with regards to future uncertainties. This lets you be in the present.

Conscious non-doing

By this I mean know where your energy is. There are periods during the day when you don’t feel like working. Conscious non -doing is when you don’t doom scroll or oversleep, rather you take an active break. An active break means diverting your mind towards your hobbies or giving time to learning about new things of your interest. You may choose to spend time with family or travel as well. The guiding sense should be an awareness that you have paused to reconnect and it is not an abrupt stop.

If you ponder a little you would know that non-conscious non-doing, consumes most of your productive day. Also, the first two habits are easy to imbibe and monitor but, the third habit is not apparently visible. More on this will come as a follow- on post in this week. Do share your thoughts on the idea of ‘An Ideal Day.’

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5 Thoughts on How to Unlock the Power of Routine

‘True power lies in routine’

Routine is mundane, routine is predictable, routine is boring. Another take on the topic is – routine is a symbol of consistency; routine creates order and routine is an innate part of your personality. When you believe in the latter perspective, you keep a well- decorated routine because you associate a sense of pride with the same. On the other hand, when you are oblivious to the benefits of a routine you tend to whine all the time. Whatever be your choice, the truth is routine is indispensable.

This phenomenon can also be justified by the way the Universe works. Nature is an integral part of the Universe. If you observe the elements of nature, they are always in super routine mode. The Sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the moon shows up each night exactly as per the phase it is supposed to be in, the tides rise and fall in a set pattern, the seasons arrive methodically. We, the human beings are also one of the elements in this vast Universe, how can we escape routine? And the one who constantly detests being in a routine, is not living up to his/her true nature.

How can you create an empowering routine?

Schedule time to clear your mind each day. A mind is a maze. For it to function well, you need to clear the clutter. Keep time aside to do this each day. Utilize this time to address the confusions that the mind holds with respect to perspective and decision. You will be able to give more to your day, as you release the intelligence blocked in the ambiguity.

Spend most of your day on the process. The result is always a by-product of the process. A good routine is one that keeps you occupied in improvising. Improvisation in any area of life – be it physical, emotional, intellectual, professional or personal is worth your energy and time.

Time to your passion is a must. Why? It puts you in a place of power, where you know you get to choose for yourself. Else it feels like, you are sitting in a boat being rowed by others or one that is drifting on its own. Make it a part of your routine and just like you eat and sleep, you will spend time pursuing what you like.

Follow the self-set standards diligently and it will reflect in how you move about doing your work on a day-to-day basis. Be busy in internalizing the routine and do not waste time in oversharing as it puts you off track. But at the same time humbly inspiring someone who is in need is your duty.

Plan your off-routine time. I have hit upon this idea in my earlier posts as well. By this I imply, when you feel overwhelmed by the regime, consciously plan a break. How does this benefit? It lets you respect your schedule even while you are off it. And it allows you to bring about necessary changes that lead to more improvisation (as per point 2). It gives you a sense that you will get back with renewed vigor once your break is over.

To end as powerfully as I started – “The secret of your future is hidden is your daily routine” – in the words of the wise Mike Murdock.

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How to deal with depletion? How to activate the energy levels?

We play various roles – of an employee, a parent, a friend, a partner, an entrepreneur, a member of the society. With technology advancements there is little or no self -space unless you choose to cut off with a strong intent.

The constant demands placed on us by the world, leads to a sense of depletion. Depletion is a feeling where you experience continuous reduction in energy as you shoulder your responsibilities. Depletion takes many forms. So, the first step is to identify the form of depletion followed by managing it.

Physical depletion

Here you feel physically tired. The ideal way to handle is a combination of workout and rest. Some exercise helps release the energy blocks in various muscles. Good rest gives clarity of thoughts. When physical depletion takes over silence and solitude also work well.

Intellectual depletion

This is experienced when you have not given time to learn about something new. Intellectual depletion can be taken care of by consuming good content. The ways are many – reading, listening to podcasts, watching videos and so on. Today, there is no dearth of valuable information. But what is important is to understand what your mind is seeking.

Emotional depletion

When you feel alone and depressed, you are emotionally depleted. In times like these meet and talk to your loved ones. Do not hesitate to share the state of your mind with a close friend or relative. It lightens the mind and prevents the depression from escalating.

Spiritual depletion

This may be felt like a void wherein you experience disconnect from your life’s purpose. You face heavy questions about the validity of your existence. This form is the most difficult to identify and express. What you need is a reconnection with the Universe? This can be achieved by meditation and mindfulness. The latter means being completely present in the moment.

The starting point for managing depletion is accepting your feelings of discomfort and fatigue. Do not try to be perfect all the time. Its ok to not be fine. Only after you accept will you be able to replenish and rejuvenate with patience. It may be hard to start because of the strong lack that you are feeling, but begin anyways, else the lack will only grow.

Share your views on what you just read and let the community benefit because depletion is seldom discussed.

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3 powerful practices that help simplify difficult goals

If I ask you – “What are your goals?” I will get answers like – I want to move abroad for higher studies, I want to buy my own house, I want to marry and settle down, I want to become the CEO of my company, I want to run the 21km marathon… and so on. Whenever we talk goals, we hear they should be measured and you should be focused. Following are certain vital aspects related to your goals that often go unnoticed –

Keep faith in micro goals

Micro goals are small insignificant goals that you derive from your macro goals. Do not let the term ‘insignificant’ confuse you. Here is why we should go for micro goals?

  • Micro goals are easy to pursue for a prolonged period.
  • Can be adopted around a demanding day as it needs less time
  • They are difficult to skip given their insignificant nature

As per an article that appeared in the Harvard Business Review – A micro goal should be followed till a point where it stops challenging you. Despite the sense of boredom that it generates, you should continue doing it for at least 15days and then increase the levels by as low as 10%. What does this do? It deeply embeds that habit in your routine. If you try to extend too fast, you are likely to give up. Their easy nature helps you to stay focused.

Be happy with your goals

There are people around the world who share their success stories, but remember it is your goals that will benefit you. Do not restructure your goals at the drop of a hat. Be happy and excited about your goals. Yes, it is difficult to maintain good enthusiasm when you are at the lower end of your achievement hierarchy. But if you continuously detest your goals or shift your goals you will not reach anywhere. Remember the decision to discard a goal is valid only when you have spent a good period pursuing it.

Reduce the importance of motivation

Motivation (self and external) is overrated and makes your thoughts weak. You continuously seek validation that leads to divided attention. Believe in the power of your manifestations and celebrate your small successes.

Do you agree that you should follow the above as you work towards your goals? Please share reasons for your decision and engage on the post to make it more meaningful.

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A difficult conversation on mind? Here are few things to remember

Can you recollect a recent difficult conversation that you had? How did it feel? It must have felt like a gush of emotions – anger, anxiety, guilt, confusion. None of these are healthy emotions and imagine what they do to your body and mind. There has to be a way to handle difficult conversations. Following are a few points that facilitate this handling. All these points concern only you and have no bearing on the other person with whom you are conversing.

Calmness

Here calmness is needed at three levels –

  • In mind
  • In choice of words and
  • In gestures and expressions

This helps you balance the negative emotions that tend to overpower you at the time of such conversations. Calmness keeps your mind and body healthy despite the gravity of the situation. Also, you attain a position of respect in the eyes of the others. They may not always admit the same but regardless it holds true.

Pragmatic references

Difficult conversations have a background that usually concern past and future events. In most of the cases you have either suffered in the past and kept patience or you foresee trouble in the future and feel anxious. This leads you into starting the conversation. While you refer to these events to make your case stronger, be pragmatic.

A subtle mention of your feelings and focusing on facts helps in holding a confident conversation. Facts make it easier to get the other person on the same level of thought.

Empathy

The other person is as powerful as you are and at the same time as affected. Empathy enables you to hear the other side. It lets you accept the other’s perspective. You never know if you have done wrong unintentionally.

Do not try to demean or dominate over their feelings because you can never force a person to feel your way. It is their own choice. A compassionate conversation makes it possible to find a mid -way out where both the parties have something to take away.

Progressive mindset

Progress happens in consensus. Progress is a product of mutual understanding. Progress is seen when you keep the bigger picture in mind. In both personal and professional areas, a progressive mindset creates a positive vibe at the time of a difficult conversation. It eliminates the vice of self- centeredness and changes the course of an otherwise bitter conversation.

If you think that handling diplomatically will hide your internal chain of thoughts, then you are mistaken. Even with average intelligence a person can see from where you are coming. This point lies at the core of making a tough conversation easy.

Courage

I deliberately kept this for the end. To initiate and to conclude a difficult conversation, you need courage. Courage to face the consequences physically and emotionally. Many times, it happens that you are about to confront and you tame down. You rehearse how you will approach, and you turn around. Why? Due to lack of courage. Have the courage to see it through the end and also have the courage to change course if you were wrong.

Difficult conversations are a part of life. Shying away from holding them is not a solution. The next time you have to give a negative employee feedback, or tell your partner about your individual growth plans, or approach your boss with a better alternative try to keep the above points in your head. I conclude with a final thought – “Most of the difficulty is an imaginary creation of your fears, it is not real.”

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The art of prioritizing

‘The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities’ – as said by Stephen Covey, an American educator and speaker well known for his bestseller 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Your mind is a maze that creates multiple options for utilizing every minute of yours.

For instance, a period of 30 minutes in your schedule can be used for a run, social interaction, project work, sleep, social media scrolling and many other activities. How to determine the perfect time-activity combination? Now that’s what we call the art of prioritizing. What understanding do you need to prioritize well? Here are some underlying factors –

Peace in sight

Quite often you experience that despite a long busy day, you feel incomplete. You feel a sense of lack. That is because work that gives you peace of mind, work that matters to you did not get the required attention and your day was consumed by other commitments that were of lesser importance. You should clearly identify activities that enhance your sense of self and make sure that you give them top priority.

Work-energy match

Energy is infinite but the levels vary during the day. Develop the habit of matching work to energy levels. Understand yourself and know at what time of the day your energy is at its peak and schedule intellectually and physically demanding tasks for that time. Leave the tendency to set everything in order before you start with the important stuff (more applicable to working women). Prioritize by your energies and you will find at the end of the day you will be a happily busy person.

Master the mind switch

Mind shuffle is when you switch from one task to other, each one requiring a different perspective and a different format of working. For instance, you are in an important meeting that needs presentation skills and immediately after the meet you have a get together that requires social skills. Prioritizing involves doing away with certain commitments to maintain a healthy mind switch. Trying to take up everything every day creates an illusionary sense of accomplishment. If you master the art of scheduling your priorities you lead a genuinely resourceful day.

Keep your mind light

Some activities take up a lot of space in your mind. Logically you know that it is no big deal but it lingers in the back of your mind till you do it. For example, activities that are not urgent but important like – Updating yourself about the latest innovation in your sector, evaluating the ideal extra- curricular option for your child, getting that small repair work done and much more.

The way to tackle this is either get the work done or know that it will get done and release precious mental space. Don’t let these activities clutter your to-do day after day. Don’t let it give you a feeling of you being a perpetual procrastinator by repeating it to yourself and others over and over again. Know that currently it is not your priority and thinking about it won’t help.

Each one of us has the same 24 hours. Yet there is vast difference in where we are in life. Where does the difference lie? The difference is not due to the family, or the position, or the society. It is due to an innate sense of prioritizing your day, ensuring that you put your time and energy to the best possible use.

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3 Habits to Help Energize the Present Moment

The present moment is all you have

How does the present moment feel? To me, it feels like attempting to put my thoughts into words. That’s it. The now is always simple. What makes it complicated is the past and the future. You spend a lifetime brooding over the past about which you cannot do anything, or you keep anticipating the future which you cannot live until its time. So all you are left with is the current moment, the present, and the now.

Experiencing the now is not an alien experience. We all felt it when we did that adventure sport or sat by the river looking at its flow. When in the middle of the traffic, the bright orange setting sun caught our eye, while dancing to our favorite song in the pub, while leaving in the wee hours of the morning to catch the early morning flight, or after a deep noon nap. The instances are many but are short-lived. As you try to gauge the profoundness, the moment just slips away.

What if there is a way to make this state of mind permanent? The following are 3 habits that can help you energize the present moment and live it to the best of your abilities.

1.Give Yourself to the Task at Hand

Tasks are of two types – one which you need to do as a part of your role and responsibility. The other which you do is out of passion and love. The former takes a major share for most of us creating a sense of boredom. One way to make the mundane interesting is by giving yourself completely to the task at hand. This habit enables you to get creative with your routine and you no longer function in autopilot mode. You are more aware of your current action which makes it a good experience.

2. Bring Your Mind Back to the Moment Again and Again

The mind is a monkey – is a light phrase that indicates that the mind is always jumping between the past and the future. How do you train the mind to be in the resourceful present? You simply bring your mind back to the present moment again and again. You watch your thoughts and make sure they are concentrated on the now. Gadgets and people around often make this difficult but it is the only way to exercise your brain to let it focus on the moment.

3. Journal Your Thoughts on the Above

Journal your thoughts and feelings on the above two habits at the end of each day. This will give you a solid understanding of the technique. It will also boost your confidence in the newer better way of living. The journal may read as follows –

  • I enjoyed making my cup of coffee
  • It was a struggle to bring my attention back to the presentation in the office.
  • For the first time, the red flower in the park looked so beautiful to me.
  • I made sure to be completely involved in the conversation with my colleague.

The above are 3 simple habits but their impact is enriching. Once an energized present moment becomes our way of life, everything feels effortless. The lightheartedness associated with being in the now will make your life joyful.