Stories

Why do we judge, evaluate, and give an opinion on the life of others?

Most of the judgment does not even reach them.

Then, why do we engage in the process?

After giving it significant thought, I have concluded that we judge to superimpose our character traits on the other.

Whenever we judge, we indirectly glorify our way of doing things. Through this process, our mind tries to establish a delusional supremacy over others.

The more we judge the other, the more our mind finds peace because we start to believe that our ways and methods are the best.

What are the 5 negative effects of this habit?

1. This kind of nature blocks all the learning because we stop being receptive towards better ways of doing things (that we can learn from others).

2. It massages our ego. It silently alters our original Sanskars, making us more arrogant.

3. This habit is a cause of unhappiness because when you are sure your way is the best, every other method looks substandard. You smile less and spend a lifetime complaining over how inefficient the other is. Many times, you micromanage, which further pulls you down,

4. You work as if you are carrying the burden of the entire world. You create a delusional space where you are the only one with the foresight and skill.

5. The time you spend judging and evaluating the actions of others is futile.

Let us judge less and accept more. The starting point is to talk less about the lives of other people. If you notice, the more you discuss the other, the more critical you get.

Learning is a life -long pursuit. Everyone who has achieved greatness in life claims that they never cease to learn. In the words of Stephen Covey – “We need to sharpen the saw.”

A good learner drops the ego and continuously unlearns. Because if you don’t break the old patterns, there is no room for new. 

In Sanskrit there is a Shloka that explicitly states the five qualities of a learner. This is ancient transcendental wisdom that has stood the test of time. 

काक चेष्टा, बको ध्यानं, स्वान निद्रा तथैव च ।

अल्पहारी, गृहत्यागी, विद्यार्थी पंच लक्षणं ॥

These 5 qualities apply to a learner at any stage in life. Be it a student, a businessman, a homemaker, a freelancer, an artist, or a sweeper… anyone and everyone who has an innate desire to learn more needs to follow the above. Let us understand each of the above – 

काक चेष्टा means to be curious like a crow. Crows are one of the most intelligent species of birds. They are observant and constantly looking for cues. They have strong problem-solving skills and a sharp memory. 

बको ध्यानं means to be sharp-focused like a heron. These birds are masters in picking their prey in flowing water. They know when to bend and pick and constantly watch the surroundings. 

स्वान निद्रा means nap like a dog. A trait of every dog is that it is alert even in sleep. A learner should always be alert to gain more knowledge. 

अल्पहारी means watch what you feed your mind and body. Read, watch, and listen well and eat healthily. One should never forget that your body is your medium to act.

गृहत्यागी means step out of your comfort zone. Embrace change to learn the unknown. Your comfort zone includes people, places, and habits. 

My grandfather explained to me the real meaning of a student. I go back to it every time I falter or fail. He was a self-made man who worked three shifts to settle in the city of dreams – Mumbai. With minimal education from Jasrapur, Rajasthan, he self-learned and established himself. 

This post is a tribute to him and his teachings. 

I hope you found it helpful. For more content on self-growth and well-being, follow me and keep reading here. 

Fake reviews

Fake fan base

Fake influence

The game of likes and love, support and object has gone too far. We often find a genuine post on a positive change getting lost in the frenzied world of social media, while a random post highlighting a vague outfit worn by some crazy woman goes viral within hours of release. 

The result is mass- misguiding. People only go by the number of likes, without giving a thought to the value in a post. The next step is where they engage in making posts or recording reels of similar nature in the hope of social media stardom.

Here are a couple of examples – 

When a marketing statement made by a sales girl in her local accent – ‘So beautiful, so elegant, just looking like a wow!’ becomes the talk of the town in public events, social gatherings, and even in formal meets to gather attention.

‘Moye Moye’ for a person who has no words to explain his stupid situation. 

The airport- look highlights comfort with style, pushing many to buy a new outfit for the ideal flight experience. 

The real success of Jamal Kudu – a song from the Bollywood film Animal should be accredited to millions of people performing the hook step and posting videos of the same on social media.

If we look back at each of these viral trends, do they hold any real meaning beyond projecting a vague sense of upbeatness?

And the best part about this cycle is that a small realized group of people, who know this game is flawed, are considered as unaware fools. They are regarded as old school and conservative with zero taste for what is trending.

How do we make it real?

How do we break free from the false influences?

The starting step is to stop showing interest in such posts and to avoid repeating the trend. Soon, you make AI work in your favor, and your social media handles start showing less of these futile trends.

Remember that the information available within the AI gamut is vast, and the intelligence lies in tapping into what holds meaning for you. 

Starting over…

A thought- provoking 10-point self Q&A on Starting Over in Life.

1. In which activities do I usually start over and over again?

Areas of self -growth like reading, exercise, regulated social media usage, learning and updating.

2. Why does starting over feel irritating?

Because it brings me face to face with my habit of procrastinating, my failures and my poor confidence in self-abilities.

3. Why do I hesitate in starting over?

Because I fear, I may discontinue yet again.

4. Why the delay in starting over?

Because it requires high degree of self- motivation.

5. What do others feel about the process?

No one has time to evaluate except those very close to me.

6. How I deal with my loved ones?

I know that the ones who love me will only respect me more every time I restart.

7. How I deal with the haters?

Think less about them and more about my growth.

8. Why starting over is a good option?

I feel better from the moment I start over.

Not starting is even more suffocating. It feels similar to how a bird feels when it is unable to take off.

9. What is the ideal way to start over?

I don’t rush. I set small targets and make sure I achieve them. I continue and scale up gradually.

10. Why is starting over worth the effort?

Because I understand it is the only way to realize my dreams.

Hope you found 👆 insightful.

Follow me for more positive content that encourages and empowers.

Less is more! But staying easy, not busy is hard to accomplish and also looked down upon in the society

How can you appreciate the less ?

Here is a simple way.

Prioritize and keep an easy to-do.

Ideally set 3 top priorities.

These activities should be important, time-consuming and should ideally be based on both personal 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 and professional objectives.

The secret is that once you set the top 3 tasks, you feel easy in your mind because the count is limited. Also rest of the tasks that you take up feel like a bonus and you are glad that you achieved more.

As against that if you have an elaborate to-do 📝 where you assign equal importance to every task, even after ticking off more than 50%, you still feel you have a long way to go.

Keep it short and well-defined. And remember the count is 3.

Trust me, it works!

Be bold and confident, about how you find more in less.

Do not let others define your ideal!

Hope you found this idea 💡 useful?