Stories

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The Slingshot Ride!

We visited an amusement park. As much as the huge, fancy rides excited me, they also led to a pit in my stomach. I was on the fence because, yes, I am fearless, but I have not done this in years. Will I be able to handle the adrenaline rush?

While I did smaller roller coasters and swings, a heavily promoted ‘Slingshot’ ride, placed right in the centre like a solitaire on the queen’s crown, kept attracting my attention.

I was watching the demeanour of those waiting in the queue in awe, and I was trying to catch a glimpse of those who were coming out after having done the ride, to check whether they were OK.

All this time, my mind kept telling me, “This is not for you. Forget it.” But the heart said, “If not now, then when? You want to bungee jump and skydive, and here you are, scared of a ride in an amusement park. C’mon, you should do it.”

My friend wanted to do it, so I accompanied her, thinking to myself, “I will see her board and move towards the exit.” She told me, “Why are you wasting your time? I will meet you ahead.” I said, “Never mind, I want to see the ride up and close.”

We reached the end of the queue. They were allowing five people inside at a time. The attendant released the chain. I hesitated, but she, unaware of my intentions, pointed towards the queue and made a strong gesture asking me to hurry.

Once inside, I was the first one in line to board the ride. The irritated attendant, again oblivious to my lostness, gestured that I should board faster. Suddenly, something changed inside me, and my feet were drawn towards the ride.

I sat, the other four sat, the dramatic countdown began, the ride started, and we were shot in the sling. The ride lasted less than a minute, but it changed me forever. Suddenly, the world became a possibility, because I lived my word of being fearless.

My call to everyone reading this is to try every new experience that comes your way. You never know what it has in store for you.

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Managing Negative Feelings with Intelligence

Feelings of anxiety, anger, loneliness, and jealousy have immense power to pull us back. Living these feelings constantly drains vital energy and hurts physical and mental well-being.

We all know 👆 but when faced with negative thoughts and feelings, we fail to act meaningfully.

It is common knowledge that anything grows when we feed it; the same applies here. When we constantly think, speak, and act out of these gloomy feelings we keep feeding them and they keep getting stronger.

Denial is not a solution because in a typical social setup dark thoughts and insecurities are bound to exist. The trick is to accept and outgrow.

Following are some simple ways to make these feelings starve –

– Specific gratitude

We are very specific about what is wrong in our lives. Similarly, we should express ‘specific gratitude’. For example; “I am grateful that my husband was available to take my daughter to her tournament so I could focus on work and finish it.”

– Avoid idleness

An idle mind nourishes negative feelings. It is often said that if currently, you have nothing to pursue, it is good to pursue yourself. Investing your time and intelligence in acquiring and applying knowledge leaves little or no room for negativity to creep in.

– Focus on your Karma

Stay focused on your deeds, responsibilities, and habits. Do good and don’t let the others affect you.

* Be humble and kind.

* Don’t engage in small talk.

* Don’t shy away from your responsibilities.

* Forgive and forget

Another important fact is that these feelings keep coming to you because of different situations.

The 👆 steps have to be repeated till they become your second nature. That’s how the feeding and growth cycle curbs and the feelings start dying.

Have you ever experienced 👆? If yes, please share in the comments section and make this exchange more valuable.

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Happy Boundaries

Drawing boundaries is not as difficult as maintaining them. It is a process that demands continuous courage. Why such a strong word – COURAGE?

Because every time you protect your boundaries, you face heavy internal dialogue and backlash from those around you. People don’t like it when you keep boundaries and think you are arrogant.

They also associate other traits like jealousy, stubbornness, and selfishness with a person who has well-defined boundaries. Despite all the trouble keeping boundaries is a must –

– To live grudge-free

– To focus on self-improvement

– To find meaning in your day

– To shed the unnecessary burden of other’s expectations

– To feel happy and content

With practice, the process becomes second nature, and the heaviness surrounding it is mitigated. What is left is a mutual understanding that you do not take up certain tasks even if you can because you are not obliged to.

Keep it simple, be confident, don’t overthink and work within your happy boundaries!

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Calmness Is A SuperPower

Calmness stems from a deep-rooted sense of security. You are calm when you are confident about your thoughts and behaviour and do not self-doubt your actions. What if I were to tell you that calmness can be developed?

  • Don’t try to take charge of everything. Trusting the process makes you feel calm.
  • Something is bothering you? Think of the smallest actions you can take now to address the issue. Small, simple steps give you a sense of control over the situation.
  • Check the intensity of your reactions. Feel your feelings, but try to convey your point subtly and gracefully. This will save energy and keep the conversation peaceful.
  • If your behaviour was inappropriate, learn the lesson and move on. This habit strengthens your self-belief and gives you the power to do it right the next time you are in a similar situation.

👆 are emotions and situations that you face on a day-to-day basis. And these are the very moments when you need to think and act alternatively to develop calmness.

Retreats and therapies are time-bound and require investment as well. However, simple changes in your approach to life can go a long way in building a calmer, happier version of you.

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The Theory of Drama

The Theory of Drama in Life

The good, the bad, the calm, and the chaos.

We share the chaos aloud while the calm feels ignored.

An accident, a delay, a spillage, or a failure.

We shout, cry, and make ourselves heard.

We share and relive the bitterness again and again.

And then we have the small progress and the little improvements

We keep it to ourselves and forget it the next day.

We don’t share or bask in the glory.

Why such a divided view of the good and bad?

Because bad means drama and good means peace.

And we all love drama!

Walk away from the drama and the good will be felt, heard, and seen.

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You Have Come Far!

December is a month of self-reflection. You see the entire year in a flash and resolve to make the next year better. But what about acknowledging the distance that you have covered this year? Why is it always about what can be better? Why is it not about that which is good?

Our minds are trained to think of all that did not go well, making the year difficult.  But I am sure there have been days when it went great, and you achieved beyond expectations.

I call upon every reader to list the good days first and then ponder about the bad ones. You may argue saying “But I have not done much.” Yes, it’s ok because whatever little you have done is good enough. In a world that keeps putting pressure to improvise the good and make the better best, pause to acknowledge the good – in its simplest version.

Do you know what my wins look like?

In 2024 –

–          I practised monotasking better

–          I heard my children with patience

–          I controlled overthinking on at least 20% of the issues

–          I accepted my current state of success

–          I lived my decisions more confidently

–          I was more consistent on LinkedIn

–          I stayed strong on most of the difficult days

My list is very subjective with goals that cannot be numbered but it matters to me. Yes, another year has passed and to the world, I am still the same, but I know of all the internal changes that have occurred. Only if I acknowledge them will they expand and trickle into the other areas of my life.

Here is a short story to drive home the point

A poor man lived with his wife and six children in a cramped one-room house. Life was so chaotic that he could barely endure it. Desperate, he sought advice from a village sage.

The sage listened and gave surprising advice: “Take your animals—your cow, goat, and chickens—into your house.” Though puzzled, the man obeyed.

The house became unbearable, so he returned to the sage. “Remove the chickens,” the sage said. The man complied but still found the house chaotic. “Remove the goat,” the sage then advised. When the goat was gone, the man returned again, complaining about the cow. “Take the cow outside,” the sage said.

The next day, the man returned to the sage, smiling. “Life is wonderful now,” he said. “Without the animals, our house feels spacious and peaceful!”

The sage’s wisdom had shown him how to appreciate what he had.

Source: How the Children Became Stars by Aaron Zerah

When motivating others, we do a fabulous job by glorifying even the smallest of their achievements. But when it is about self, we downplay and over-expect. Why can we not be considerate of ourselves before others?

One school of thought says that the considerate approach breeds complacency. However, I strongly believe that a constant feeling of lack – lack of opportunity, lack of resources, lack of time, only leads to further lack in life. It is time we respect our journey and feel joyous of where we have reached.

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She Slowly Holds Both Fire and Calm Within

She lives a life that is not hurried. She takes her day slow. She gives her 💯 to every small or big task. But she does not multitask.

She does not skip her noon nap even on busy days. Her workout is the most special part of the routine, where she systematically enhances her will and strength. But she does it all slowly.

She keeps her to-do list small and meaningful. A wise old lady once advised her, “Specify 3 priorities on any given day and once accomplished mark your day as successful.” The lady was not a therapist or a consultant, but the simple advice has stayed with her since then. And though she plans her day meticulously, she is at ease, not hurried.

She works remotely and is happy with her progress. She respects where she is because she has reached here with determination and consistency. She ideates, implements, and evaluates. She respects the gradual progress that she has achieved.

She gives time to her family but takes care and keeps a dependency check. Her ways look old-school but she cooks simple meals for her family members with love. She looks forward to her slow-paced day that has a little bit of everything.

She plans for the next day but she consciously keeps her schedule easy. She is resourceful and professional but does not compromise on her peaceful pace.

She is learning new skills, not always with an end goal. Each time she feels socially intimidated, she asks herself “Did I ever want this?”

She vibrates on a higher abundant frequency where she has TIME FOR EVERYTHING. She is surrounded by multitaskers, thorough professionals, worked-up managers, anxious planners, big dreamers, and star achievers, all busy and engaged, but she loves her slow day and slow progress!

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Share Your Story…

It was the last 2kms of our 4-day trek to Chandrashila (12000ft) in Uttarakhand. We had a turnaround time and I had to decide on whether I would continue because my fellow trekkers were waiting. I had already trekked for 4 hours and I broke down because the summit was just 2kms away and I was tired.

At that moment a friend who had been with me since the beginning of the trek became a living inspiration. We had been together for the last 4 days and she was ever so quiet. She shared brief stories from her previous treks and a little bit more. She trekked alone and was superb in descent.

That is all I knew about her till this moment. She saw me weak and she said softly – “I am a cancer survivor and once I overcame the fear of dying I engaged in every adventure sport because I realized no feeling is worse than the thought that you may JUST die without trying, without experiencing. In the last 2 years, I have done bungee jumping, scuba diving, and treks, because I felt what dying was like.”

That’s it, said nothing more, she smiled with moist eyes, turned around and started trekking. I was stunned and speechless. Suddenly the pain and fatigue seemed nothing. My issues became so petty that I could no longer hold on to them.

She looked back, gestured for me to come along and I resumed. Every step gave pain, and every breath felt heavy but a voice inside kept saying – “I am going to conquer this!”

I came across a post on LinkedIn about how one should share their stories, which may become a survival guide for the other. This article is an inspiration from the same.

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The Voice Inside

Silence and space hold many answers. Why do we feel good on a retreat? Because there are no sounds or commitments. We enjoy the openness of space because otherwise we are bound to our homes and workstations.

When we shut the noise we can hear the voice inside. We can hear the voice inside when we create a space between self and the other.

Most of the time the voice asks us to make tough decisions like –

– Detachment

– Disconnection and

– Discontinuation

from work and people.

The mind is feeble and fears the consequences of the decision, but the voice keeps repeating. Because the voice knows that the reality is not as grave as it seems to the mind. The mind has a habit of overplaying and overimagining. This inner voice keeps you rooted in reality. It clears all the mental drama and

Listening to the voice carefully and upholding what it says requires tremendous courage.

But it is the only way to feel liberated.

Today, listen to the voice and do what it says!

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Importance and Easy Ways for Building Acceptance

Acceptance is a nature, a habit. The way we develop good habits like, eating healthy, sleeping well, and exercising we need to build acceptance. Acceptance is a powerful state which releases energy blocked in the following –

  • Complaints and resentment
  • Continuous hoping for things to be different and
  • Anxiety about the future

These habits drain us of vital energy, and we keep shouldering our responsibilities unenthusiastically. We feel less accomplished despite giving all that we had. But the truth is a large share of our zest for life is consumed by non-acceptance

Social media plays a crucial role in enhancing the state of non-acceptance because we forget that no one is posting their failures. Travel, fashion, family, art, and everything else intimidate and make us dislike our current state.

Developing acceptance is a conscious process that requires time. One factor that gets in our way is that we equate acceptance with surrender. We feel that this habit makes us vulnerable, so we lash back with full strength, only to give in once again because everything in our lives is meant to be just the way it is!

Why is it important to develop acceptance?

Following are some reasons why developing acceptance is important

  • You feel enthusiastic because you accept that you have to work.
  • You are less irritable as there is minimal to zero internal resistance
  • You celebrate the success and achievements of others
  • You direct your energies towards being and not simply doing

The crux is that acceptance brings back the lost joy in our lives. The lingering uneasiness about the past and the future ceases to exist, and we become one with the present, an empowering and powerful state.

How do you develop acceptance?

Developing acceptance is not complicated because it is our true nature. The Universe is designed based on the principles of acceptance, and we are a part of it. Other living beings never question their state or situation and continue to grow.

It is important to uphold our values and beliefs, but unchecked non-acceptance often transforms into a big ego. It is exhausting to fight the world but equally effortless to do all that is in our control with complete acceptance.

Following are some ways to develop acceptance –

  • Understand that it is not a subdued and vulnerable state and consider it the starting point of change.
  • Don’t stick to the perfect solutions and accept that you may need to think and act alternatively
  • Stop looking at any situation as permanent, and know that it is a phase which will pass.
  • Be proud of how far you have come. Change self-pity into self-respect
  • Learn to let go and move on. Acceptance demands complete attention, and we cannot afford to hold on to grudges.
  • Be grateful for what you have so that you can use it to accomplish more.

Acceptance opens the mind to new solutions and helps keep peace inside and outside. Be it macro issues like wars, or micro issues like work pressure, all stem from non-acceptance of the current situation.

Let me end the article on a positive note, requesting you to accept at least one thing that you otherwise resent.