Happiness is a Mindset

Happiness leaves no scars, hence it is easy to forget.

The human mind finds meaning in problems and negativity. The moment you drive it towards positivity and happiness it throws the following words at you –

– You are foolish

– You are so innocent

– You are vulnerable

– You are weak

– You do not accept the reality…

It systematically challenges your positivity. And you fall into the trap and start acting otherwise.

Whenever these thoughts come in to bother you, reiterate and tell yourself

– I want to do my best no matter what

– I want to give unconditionally

– I want to forgive and let go

– I want to live fully and freely

– I am secure and no one can take advantage of me

Fight the battle with strength and soon the negative pattern will cease to exist paving the way for foolish optimism (as they call it). But don’t you think it is better than energy-draining pessimism?

Know How Humble You Are!

Humility is a superpower!

Check how humble you are by answering the following 5 questions –

1. Do you mention how you contribute to the team or spend your day without being asked?

If the answer to this is yes, you are not humble. You may argue that you are just narrating facts, but the reality is that you are superimposing yourself on the other by glorifying your ways.

2. Do you always feel extra pressure in team/group projects and presentations?

If yes, it means you lack humility. If you self-analyze you will realize that you feel the pressure more because you consider yourself above others and doubt their abilities.

3. Do you micromanage intentionally or unintentionally?

If yes, it means you are far from being humble. Micromanaging is not for the good of the project or others in the team, it is because you consider your ways superior.

4. Do you always find a negative in the other person?

If yes, then you need help with humility. When you always find a negative in the other, it implies that by mentioning the negative you want to establish your supremacy over the other.

5. Do you use a lot of ‘I’ in your conversations?

If yes, then consider it as a subtle sign to recheck how humble you are. When discussing your day with your spouse or a friend if you throw a lot of ‘I’s’ like – I did this, I did that, I thought about it, I faced it, and so on, it means you are self-obsessed with your ways.

The opposite of humility is not pride, it is stagnation because humility means growth.

I hope the above questions will steer your mind towards humility, an important virtue!

It’s Time We Judge a Woman in the Light of Her Beautiful Dreams

A messy home = A messy woman

👆 our society believes.

But if you closely observe a messy home indicates that the woman of the house is pursuing her dreams.

She prioritizes and takes the important energy-consuming tasks first, followed by routine house chores that can be done in autopilot mode. Till then the house lies as it is.

She is designing a new product or has joined a new team, and she cannot cook new delicacies every day. The commitments demand time and once she settles she will cook your favourites.

She is feeling weak and wants to devote some time to her health, and she prefers not to do laundry every day. Exercise needs consistency and soon she will make it a habit.

She is connecting with new clients to promote her venture and has little time to socialize. Soon she will have a set clientele and will have the time to meet and greet happily.

She is pressed for time and expecting a hand with housework. The day she is easy, she takes up extra cleaning and sourcing.

She had a long day and needs rest. The next day morning she will be full of energy and balance everything.

We need to understand that there is a reason why she is unavailable. We need to appreciate that she is dreaming, aspiring, and building.

A messy home = An ambitious woman

P.S. – She cannot visualize her growth in her children and spouse because she has her independent calibre.

How to Make Your Work Speak

Do you feel that you don’t get the credit that you deserve?

Living out of a state of constant regret is not a good thing. The feeling is depressing, and it keeps pulling you down.

You may be thinking – “I know that. But what can I do? Every time I can’t keep mentioning what I did for the project. It is for the others to understand.”

I agree that keeping your work ‘high-key’ is not a good approach either.

While this an intense topic, here are a few things you can do to handle this issue –

  • In project meetings, share your views with confidence. It indirectly implies that you have done your homework.

  • You can try giving a brief overview to your senior (in case he does not know) of your contribution. Remember, it is professional, not impolite.

  •  If you are working on a particular part of the project, try to see it through to completion. Even if you require technical assistance, ensure that the final result is as planned, which means you have done your job thoroughly.

  • Do not discuss it bitterly with colleagues and family. Remember, it never helps and only increases the resentment.

  • Do not keep feeding the feeling. The more you think about it, the more vulnerable you become. It assumes its worst form when you fail to distinguish between real and imaginary. You feel ignored and unnoticed every time, even if the reality is different.

The feeling of being unnoticed is a highly internalized emotion that acts as a slow poison and empties you from the inside.

It is wise to accept the situation and take the above steps to improve the situation. It is also a good idea to shift focus on areas where you excel.

As you transcend from acceptance to improvement, be calm. Haphazard efforts will create chaos and make you look like some desperate attention seeker.

Always keep in mind – Let your work speak!

A Simple Effective Way to Deal with Delays

Punctuality is not about being on time but about respecting your commitments 🕒

Punctuality is not for others; it is for you.

How do you deal with a situation where you are punctual but others are not?

A natural response is irritation because you feel like a fool as you scheduled and planned your exit to arrive on time, and it was not a coincidence.

Here is how you can deal with it 👇

– Do not spoil your temperament (remember you made it on time 👏 )

– Communicate to others that you do not appreciate delays

– And move on without carrying baggage

The longer you keep the thought in your head, the longer you will take to start functioning optimally.

In moments like these, remind yourself that the purpose of the meeting is higher than these petty issues.

Punctuality is the key to dependability, and it hurts when others fail to show up, but you have no control over it.

You may get confused and lower your time standards, but it will leave you feeling worse because it is not your inherent nature.

Take pride in your habit and stick to it, no matter what, but don’t let the habit change you into an ever-irritable, complaining person.

Another important thing is that the world learns enough by example, so don’t waste your time preaching punctuality. 

One Important Thing to Learn From the Paris Olympic Athletes

Consistency is the buzzword at the Paris Olympics 2024. Every athlete from anywhere in the world owes their success to the persistent hours when, they practised alone, with no one to watch, acknowledge, or support.

Just like the athletes, each one of us has a dream to be an improved person—we seek improvement in terms of health, knowledge, emotional intelligence, skill set, and other attributes.

Reading, meditating, learning, and similar self-development activities feature in almost every person’s to-do list, but you seldom put a tick beside them.

You realize that these activities are non-urgent but important.

And due to procrastination, lethargy, distractions, and busyness, you fail to devote time to them.

After a few months, you stop trying to pursue, and after a few years, you give up completely, and they don’t show in your to-do anymore.

But imagine the situation where you would have worked on those tasks!

You would have been a different person today!

By working consistently on self-growth, you become a different person. You acquire a personality where you are more confident and accomplished.

How do you move from giving up to taking up self-growth tasks?

Here is a 7-step method –

1. Set small goals daily

2. Fight hard against your moods, and make sure to start

3. Once you have started, ensure you spend minimal focused time on the task

4. Before you end, compare how you fared as against yesterday

5. If you were on par, be happy that you maintained the level

6. If you were better, feel proud of the progress

7. If you were poor, try giving some more time, such that you match the previous level

The last point looks senselessly pushy but makes all the difference.

You have to tell your mind that you are not engaging in its stupid games, and you will continue to pursue come what may.

You have to show your mind that you are stronger than it.

Soon, you train your mind, and it stops tampering and interfering, and that’s when you share your stories of consistency with others, just like the Olympic athletes.

Inhale and Exhale – An Easy Way to Lead You Out of Difficult Situations

I practice yoga every day. Saurabh Bhotra, the co-founder of Habuild, said in one of his sessions – “Your breath is the bridge between the outer world and the inner world.”

I tried following it, and yes, it works miraculously.

Whenever –

– You are overwhelmed due to work

– You are in a space of stress

– You have met with an untoward incident or

– You are facing a life-and-death situation

Your mind is in complete chaos, and you want to grab, hold on, hoping that someone will help.

But the current world scenario is such that everyone has some s–t to handle.

In such difficult situations that are common, bring the control back into life by breathing deeply.

Inhale and exhale. What does it do?

– It energizes your weary soul and tired mind

– It distracts you from emotions like anger and remorse, considered normal on rough days

– It keeps you from futile discussions that provide temporary relief

– It restores faith in the future

Let us delve into a little bit of science.

According to the Yale School of Medicine, our body has a vagus nerve that starts from the base of our brain and reaches the other organs.

In stress situations, this nerve gets activated reflexively, which increases our blood flow and prepares our body for quick protective action. It triggers the fight-or-flight response.

However, scientific observation of the diaphragm proves that the vagus nerve can be reset by deep breathing.

Slow, even breaths that originate deep within the abdomen stimulate the vagus nerve in a way that signals safety and cues our bodies and minds to relax, restore, and release chronic patterns.

I did not wish to give a lengthy post/article on managing stress.

This simple practice makes you powerful enough to deal with difficult situations.

The above works best for me, but I would love to know how you manage.

Please post it in the comments and add value to the idea.

P.S. – The mention of science reinstates the logic behind the practice.

Amazing How We Learn From the Wrong People!

Ashish was firm and serious about life, and Shiamak was an experimentalist and fun-loving. Both were part of the same team for an upcoming project. They did not like each other’s ways and often detested and made fun behind the back. After the initial resistance settled down, they started working together.

Shiamak disliked Ashish’s formal ways, and Ashish often struggled to keep up with Shiamak’s sudden revelations on the project. Their language and conduct were opposite, and each held oneself in high regard. Every team member felt skewed towards the style that suited them, thus polarizing the team.

The friction was high, but under the mask of team management, the team leader continued to pacify. He explained to Ashish and Shiamak that people skills are a critical appraisal parameter.

As they argued and adapted, little did they realize that they were learning in the process.

Ashish learned

  • It is good to explore ideas
  • Taking a break improves work quality and
  • People like Shiamak are not as bad!

Shiamak learned

  • Focused working leads to better execution
  • Cutting distractions improves work quality and
  • People like Ashish are also good!

What kept them from this wisdom?

What held them back?

A mind that stereotypes. It is the most lethal, and it obstructs one’s way to learning and gaining wisdom.

What is true wisdom?

True wisdom lies in accepting each other’s ways, not wanting them to change.

Act in the Present Moment to Make Your Dreams Come True

On tough days, my Mom had a standard advice – “Don’t overthink about the future. Think about what you can do today.”

I used to snap back saying, “It is easier for you to suggest. Do you know blah blah blah……”

Today as I am a year short of turning 40, I have realised that moving to the present moment is the ONLY way.

#buddhisminenglish

Listen to him talking about the ideal technique to accomplish your dreams.(Oops it matches what my mom said 🙂 )

Believe it or not, being in the present moment is the most difficult skill to master.

Dreams should be a source of enthusiasm and hope, not frustration and despair.

Do not be miserable chasing a mirage, work on the present, and you will be all right!

Choices Translate into Consequences

When you choose the benefits of an action, 

you also choose the drawbacks.

Life offers nothing in absolute. There always lies a trade-off. The direct form of a trade-off is time – which means if you are engaged in task A, you cannot attend to task B at the same time with the same efficiency.

 

So, if you have done exceptional in task A, task B must not have been on par. For instance, if I am cooking while answering emails, either the dish will not turn out the best or the emails might be less perfect with language, tone, or idea.

 

A counter concept is – ‘Done is better than perfect’

 

This reinstates that only you know the difference between how well you could have done and what you actually did. To the outside world both the tasks that you took up together, seem to be perfect.

 

Why don’t we create awareness around us where at least we know the process?

 

Often, we get into autopilot mode and multitask or work mindlessly, even when there is no need. This is specifically observed in the fast-paced culture of big cities. The bandwagon effect leads you to hurry through tasks for no reason. 

 

You don’t take the chance to experience the peace and pleasure from living your to-do list meticulously and methodically.

 

Our ancestors led an uncertain life, but today technology and infrastructure have made our lives organized imparting a high degree of certainty to our day. Despite that, there is an increase in situations where people undertake a task half-heartedly or distracted and somehow manage to tick it off their list.

 

Why the hustle?

 

Yes, the corporate scenario is tough and you have lots up your sleeves. But what about low-pressure chores? Even if they form a minuscule 10% of your day, choose to get absorbed in them completely while doing them.

 

Let us build consciousness around how well we do a task rather than focusing completely on the result. Let us be aware of the energy we bring to a task because ultimately the aura differentiates one from the other