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Effective Ways to Identify and Break the Habit of Stereotyping

As per definition – Stereotyping means holding an often unfair and untrue belief about all people or things with a particular characteristic. It is a practice that includes all acts of biases the most common ones being – Racial discrimination, gender inequality and body shaming and any other discriminating thoughts based on different criteria be it place, position or social circle.

If you look inside, you will find you stereotype unintentionally, but actively.

This practice shatters the person in context and has a negative impact on your experience of life as well. How do you know that you are stereotyping?

When you generalize your thoughts pertaining to a particular individual/group and apply it to a larger unrelated segment, you stereotype. The instances are many

  • Heavy people have less stamina
  • Women presenters get more attention
  • People from South have a dark skin tone and many more

You might wonder that how can a mere thought have such a strong impact?

Yes, it does have a strong impact. Because stereotyping camouflages individual uniqueness.

Negative stereotyping never allows the person to reach his/her full potential. The individual traits are hidden deep beneath the generalized version created by stereotyping. For example, a surgeon cannot drink.

Positive stereotyping also never allows the person to reach his/her full potential, because it exerts pressure to behave in a particular way. Or it keeps the person so comfortably cushioned that he/she does not even try to improve. For instance, an IIM Ahmedabad pass out will definitely do this job better than an MBA from a standard Mumbai institute.

How to change this culture of stereotyping?

  • Do not derive conclusions based on past behavior/past events. See every situation in the light of the present day.
  • Do not comment or share stereotypically in your quest to garner more support because in the process you also lend strength to your own distorted beliefs.
  • Self-talk to give yourself a different perspective on the situation or choose a clear- headed confidante.
  • Refrain from spreading the word loosely because your conversations decide your personality as well.

You need to understand that stereotyping demands unnecessary thought, consuming a lot of energy. This weakens your focus on self- growth.

Stereotyping is an integral part of human nature and can never be eradicated completely. But with this post I appeal to at least put a check and avoid getting into it casually and regularly. Let us collectively break the chains of social and corporate stereotyping and foster a culture that values individual uniqueness.

For similar content on personal growth, wellbeing, and more, connect with me on Instagram @thesimplejuggle.

Together, let’s build a world where everyone is seen and celebrated for their true selves! #OpenMindset #BreakTheStereotypes #PersonalGrowth

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Be like the moon

 

Why seek attention? It’s simply not worth

Does the moon ever insist for the morning earth?

Why speak and act different, to grab that little span?

Is the night sky less beautiful with its moon-star clan?

Why feel low when the limelight eludes?

Do no moon days not promise a full moon new?

Why spread the bitterness about the illusionary less?

The moon gets unasked attention for its purity and calmness

Will the forced affection make you feel any better?

I asked the moon and it said, “I simply shine, rest doesn’t matter!!”

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The Manipur incident – An act of riot or an act of ego?

I started my day on a positive note. Mild workout followed by meditating on my manifestations. I thought I had filled my cup for the day and was looking forward to working on my task list. I opened the newspaper and on the front page, I read about the Manipur incident where 3 women were made to parade naked. I read it twice because I could not believe what I read.

I was disappointed and scared all at the same time. I tried reading the Speaking Tree, with a hope that it will discuss some virtue which will take my mind off the heinous incident, but I tried in vain. I did not wish to read any further, I shut the paper.

As I started my chores, I kept thinking that if by mere reading, I am so severely affected, what would be the plight of those who witnessed it and what would be the mental state of the victims who lived that incident.

There were questions in my head. Where are the virtues? Can anyone ever be so wrong for her to go through this? What paralyzed the onlookers? What kept the assaulters going, were they even human?

No, they were not human. Why? Because they did not hold any of the human values. They were not empathetic, not kind, not respectful and most importantly they had a big ego.

Ego is a silent killer and it has the power to steer you away from the path of righteousness. Your ego overshadows all the good that you possibly hold. How? Because in your quest to be right in your judgements and decisions, you resort to inappropriate thinking patters. Your ego makes everyone else look smaller, insignificant and not worthy of winning.

On a daily basis, we experience ego – sometimes we are egoistic and some other times we are negatively affected by the ego of others. But the latter is almost always, clearly visible and criticized. We fail to understand that what is more dangerous is self-ego because it makes us lose control of our mind. What are the early signs of self-ego?

1. You think you are intellectually superior to a large group of people

2. You believe your way of working is the ideal way

3. You don’t appreciate the individual interests of others if they don’t match yours

4. You cannot see others go ahead (small or big win, you feel the same)

5. You easily distance and disconnect from people

These incidents are a call to humanity to put a check on their egos. Knowingly and unknowingly, we tamper the peace of many, by fueling our self-ego. If you think you have even the slightest trace of any of the above 5 thinking patterns, self -realize and control it from growing bigger, else by the time you will act, the damage will be done.

What are your thoughts on the same?

#ego #behuman #behumble #humanity #humanvalues #valuesmatter

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5 ways how you can be sensitive to people who work for you

Your caliber and personality put you in a position of authority both in personal and professional life. Your virtues build a positive aura around you due to which people value your opinions and respect your decisions. In an organization setup you refer to this behavior as employee loyalty – Loyalty towards the leader and the company.

What are these virtues that make you a better leader/owner/employer? They are truthfulness, dedication and SENSITIVENESS towards people around you. These values are the base of a long-standing resourceful relationship between the higher and the lower strata in the society (based on money and position). Here we will talk about how to develop a nature of being sensitive towards people who work for you.

Value their time

Time is the only thing that we all have in common. The rule is simple – As much as you value your own time, you must also respect the time of others. Keeping your staff or employees waiting creates dissatisfaction among them. Why? Because they have put aside their commitments to be available for you. On the contrary, if you are before time, they feel valued and respect you.

Involve them in decisions

Delegation cannot continue for long. As the employee or staff take the learning curve, they want to actively decide their scope of work. If you do not provide the same, they become resentful or disinterested. These negative values affect the work quality. Regulated authority boosts enthusiasm and nourishes creativity.

Give them space

You need to keep in mind that they have their personal life too. Do not repeat instructions just to clear the clutter in your head. If the other is not in a frame of mind to discuss a topic, postpone the conversation if possible. Do not ignore the other person’s needs.

Recognize their contribution

Recognize their contribution and acknowledge it publicly. A minimum level of motivation keeps their spirit high. You develop humility as you appreciate because you come to understand that you are not the only one responsible for success – it’s a collective effort.

Let go

There are days when your junior or house help or team is in a bitter mood. They are curt or critical or simply off. If it is a one-off case, do not give much value to the incident. Resist the tendency to assume that if you do not put a check it will turn into a habit. Let it go. Why? First to protect your peace and second to give a benefit of doubt to the other. If it happens repetitively, then you need to take charge. 

When we talk about relations, we are very careful while we deal with our superiors. What one needs to work on is good behavior with the ones who are below in the hierarchy. How well you interact with your team and employees is a mark of your good leadership character.

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Value of trade-offs

A trade-off means – ‘An act of balancing between two opposing situations, qualities or things, both of which you want and need.’ I find this definition to be incomplete because it does not highlight a key feature of a trade-off which is, letting go of some needs and keeping some. Yes, a trade off implies you forego few opportunities and also relationships to make the most of what you decide to keep.

If you were to list the numerous instances where you felt tremendously pressed for energy and time, most of them would fall in the group of professional life v/s personal life. Balancing both is ideal but trade-off is the reality of everyday life.

Advantages of a trade-off over endless juggling

  • You become more passionate about every task that you take up at office or home.
  • You feel powerful because you know you have a choice.
  • You are at peace as you have limited priorities.

Disadvantages of a trade-off

  • You unintentionally limit your scale leading to a limited world view.
  • You need to continuously put effort to build acceptance around your decision.
  • You may often take guilt trips when you see others excelling at something that you have chosen to forego.

How can we make this trade-off easy? Following are 3 points to keep in mind

  1. Make a well evaluated choice which is driven by both facts and feelings. Understand the consequences well because many a times the change is irreversible. For example, you invest your savings in a course abroad, whether you are able to cope up with the vagaries of the new city or not you have to complete the course for better work opportunities.
  2. Know how to handle guilt. Here the best example would be of a working parent. While you meet your office deadlines you miss on your child’s milestones. Pre-empt the situations that will create heaviness in your heart and deal with them head-on. Do not waste time convincing yourself and others every time a new event comes up.
  3. Accept your limitations. While it is good to dream, keep your resources and capabilities in hindsight. Only when you accept your current state can you do a systematic trade off. Random half-hearted bouts will take you nowhere. For instance, your friend did the Everest Base Camp trek which you wanted to do too, but could not do due to a big family event in the same period. Plan the training schedule and take it up the moment you are released off your commitments but for the time being ACCEPT.

Golden rule

The length of the period of a trade-off decides the degree of its reversibility.

Think about it!!!

Following is the link to an article that appeared in the Speaking Tree. It supports my content and is also responsible for the thought of writing on the topic – ‘Value of trade-offs’

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/toi-edit-page/heisenberg-principle-and-trade-offs-in-life/

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Step by step, day by day

Don’t let someone define your goals for you

Don’t believe in the outside world view

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t get disheartened when you look around

Don’t be deaf to your inner sound

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t fear failures when things go wrong

Don’t worry if progress is taking long

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t be insecure when others soar heights

Learn to take inspiration, it makes you feel light

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

 

Don’t engage your mind in matters trivial

Think the bigger picture, stay jovial

Step by step, day by day

Keep going on, make your way

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Achieve your dream of living an ideal day – Part II

As committed in the last blog, this post is about more habits that will help you live an ideal day. Personal development should be a constant endeavor. It is one of the worthiest pursuits for each one of us because we are our most valuable resource. Following are some interesting habits that can make your day more meaningful –

Save energy

Energy is infinite and it is the reason of all activity and existence. Know what depletes your energy and take active steps to tackle it. One of the biggest energy depleters is holding hard feelings against people. All the attention that you give to developing and nurturing a negative feeling towards a person, consumes too much of your emotional and physical energy. It will be impractical to say that be good to all, so what I mean here is if someone does not give a good vibe, disconnect. Stop thinking about that person or situation every time it comes to you. Every single time you discourage that thought, you save some energy.

Time management

This is a topic in itself that we will definitely cover in the posts ahead but in the context of this post, time management is inevitable to get the desired value from your day. As discussed in the post before, an ideal day should have a little development in every form – physical, emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual and professional. Yes, you cannot attend to every parameter each day but each of these should be attended to consistently. This is where your time management skills come to your rescue. Prioritizing, setting up target timelines and working with focus are the key. Adhering to time standards set by self is a rewarding experience.

Go with the flow

This contradicts the habit that we just read about. But the fact remains that as much as you try to be in control of your day there are situations that are beyond your reach. In times like these it is intelligent to go with the flow because resistance makes you feel tired. I do not suggest that you should be over accommodating, but more often than not coming back to the task after an unexpected interruption puts you on track. Only when your mind is stuck on the abruptness of the flow-break, you are paralyzed and you fail to accomplish. Whatever it is, take it in your stride and go with the flow.

What you have achieved in a day gives you partial elation. It is more about how you have achieved it. Let the power of your habits put you in a place that is better than yesterday. Like a master sculptor carve your days carefully and intricately. The simple reason being that days make a week, weeks make a month, months make a year and years make a LIFE.

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Achieve your dream of living an ideal day – Part I

At the end of the day when you look back what do you find? You find how you were engaged in a mix of many activities – personal, professional, social and others. You identify how you lived moments where you were organized and also your moments of chaos. This takes us to the next question – How to live an ideal day? There is no standard rule book that can define a good day but following are some habits that never go wrong –

Rise early

When you rise early you create a much-needed space for self. You can take up any activity that enriches your being. Reading, exercising, meditating – you can do whatever attracts you. One thing is of utmost importance that the period of early morning is sacred so do not feed yourself with wrong content in any form. Secondly resist the temptation to get drawn into the routine early with the intention of getting extra work done. Strictly reserve that space for self.

Mind your conversations

Converse less about people and more about ideas. Do not engage in depleting conversations that involve, judging, criticizing and complaining. The habit of accepting the choices others make for themselves keeps your mind light and open. Refrain from prolonged discussions about your anxiety with regards to future uncertainties. This lets you be in the present.

Conscious non-doing

By this I mean know where your energy is. There are periods during the day when you don’t feel like working. Conscious non -doing is when you don’t doom scroll or oversleep, rather you take an active break. An active break means diverting your mind towards your hobbies or giving time to learning about new things of your interest. You may choose to spend time with family or travel as well. The guiding sense should be an awareness that you have paused to reconnect and it is not an abrupt stop.

If you ponder a little you would know that non-conscious non-doing, consumes most of your productive day. Also, the first two habits are easy to imbibe and monitor but, the third habit is not apparently visible. More on this will come as a follow- on post in this week. Do share your thoughts on the idea of ‘An Ideal Day.’

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5 Thoughts on How to Unlock the Power of Routine

‘True power lies in routine’

Routine is mundane, routine is predictable, routine is boring. Another take on the topic is – routine is a symbol of consistency; routine creates order and routine is an innate part of your personality. When you believe in the latter perspective, you keep a well- decorated routine because you associate a sense of pride with the same. On the other hand, when you are oblivious to the benefits of a routine you tend to whine all the time. Whatever be your choice, the truth is routine is indispensable.

This phenomenon can also be justified by the way the Universe works. Nature is an integral part of the Universe. If you observe the elements of nature, they are always in super routine mode. The Sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the moon shows up each night exactly as per the phase it is supposed to be in, the tides rise and fall in a set pattern, the seasons arrive methodically. We, the human beings are also one of the elements in this vast Universe, how can we escape routine? And the one who constantly detests being in a routine, is not living up to his/her true nature.

How can you create an empowering routine?

Schedule time to clear your mind each day. A mind is a maze. For it to function well, you need to clear the clutter. Keep time aside to do this each day. Utilize this time to address the confusions that the mind holds with respect to perspective and decision. You will be able to give more to your day, as you release the intelligence blocked in the ambiguity.

Spend most of your day on the process. The result is always a by-product of the process. A good routine is one that keeps you occupied in improvising. Improvisation in any area of life – be it physical, emotional, intellectual, professional or personal is worth your energy and time.

Time to your passion is a must. Why? It puts you in a place of power, where you know you get to choose for yourself. Else it feels like, you are sitting in a boat being rowed by others or one that is drifting on its own. Make it a part of your routine and just like you eat and sleep, you will spend time pursuing what you like.

Follow the self-set standards diligently and it will reflect in how you move about doing your work on a day-to-day basis. Be busy in internalizing the routine and do not waste time in oversharing as it puts you off track. But at the same time humbly inspiring someone who is in need is your duty.

Plan your off-routine time. I have hit upon this idea in my earlier posts as well. By this I imply, when you feel overwhelmed by the regime, consciously plan a break. How does this benefit? It lets you respect your schedule even while you are off it. And it allows you to bring about necessary changes that lead to more improvisation (as per point 2). It gives you a sense that you will get back with renewed vigor once your break is over.

To end as powerfully as I started – “The secret of your future is hidden is your daily routine” – in the words of the wise Mike Murdock.

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How to deal with depletion? How to activate the energy levels?

We play various roles – of an employee, a parent, a friend, a partner, an entrepreneur, a member of the society. With technology advancements there is little or no self -space unless you choose to cut off with a strong intent.

The constant demands placed on us by the world, leads to a sense of depletion. Depletion is a feeling where you experience continuous reduction in energy as you shoulder your responsibilities. Depletion takes many forms. So, the first step is to identify the form of depletion followed by managing it.

Physical depletion

Here you feel physically tired. The ideal way to handle is a combination of workout and rest. Some exercise helps release the energy blocks in various muscles. Good rest gives clarity of thoughts. When physical depletion takes over silence and solitude also work well.

Intellectual depletion

This is experienced when you have not given time to learn about something new. Intellectual depletion can be taken care of by consuming good content. The ways are many – reading, listening to podcasts, watching videos and so on. Today, there is no dearth of valuable information. But what is important is to understand what your mind is seeking.

Emotional depletion

When you feel alone and depressed, you are emotionally depleted. In times like these meet and talk to your loved ones. Do not hesitate to share the state of your mind with a close friend or relative. It lightens the mind and prevents the depression from escalating.

Spiritual depletion

This may be felt like a void wherein you experience disconnect from your life’s purpose. You face heavy questions about the validity of your existence. This form is the most difficult to identify and express. What you need is a reconnection with the Universe? This can be achieved by meditation and mindfulness. The latter means being completely present in the moment.

The starting point for managing depletion is accepting your feelings of discomfort and fatigue. Do not try to be perfect all the time. Its ok to not be fine. Only after you accept will you be able to replenish and rejuvenate with patience. It may be hard to start because of the strong lack that you are feeling, but begin anyways, else the lack will only grow.

Share your views on what you just read and let the community benefit because depletion is seldom discussed.