Letter to Self (Younger)

I’m thrilled to be participating in a five day ‘LOL-a-thon’ organized by ‘The Momsteins’.  Join us to read some wonderful letters written by 26 cool bloggers. Stay around to read some amazing letters coming up.

Today’s prompt is Letter to Self (younger/older)

Hi dear Neha

I have always loved myself so writing a letter to self looks easy to me. How are you? And how am I the Neha today treating you? I know you know that I am still you. The same Neha who first stepped into her MBA college, the same Neha who made her first presentation and the same Neha who got the best campus offer. Yes, I am referring to you, a 20 year old Neha.

You were an achiever and you enjoyed your share of limelight be it academics or extra -curricular events and activities. Your command on time and self- management was something to look up to. Your mind was set, to take up only that which you can do the best. What language and what speech? You were proud of yourself. Fellow friends and teachers were always in appreciation. Why am I talking college alone? Because that’s where you spent 10-12 hours learning, enjoying, competing, supporting and most importantly dreaming.

I am sure you must not have forgotten the conservative air in which you breathe then? Judgments and restrictions were a part of the smallest of the activities in day to day life. Part of a joint Marwari family and eldest in a group of 4 sisters, you were expected to be the light bearer and not the path breaker. Seemed unfair then, but today when I have my own family I appreciate the intentions if not the ways.

I owe my present to you Neha, your perseverance, patience and strong will to move on against all odds. Those earlier than early mornings and self- talks have bought you to a point where you are your own light. Yes, you saw others around unwinding after every single assignment. But you were seldom a part because at home you were expected to be out only for academics, and you were a good girl. Despite a subdued environment, you were bold and vociferous, ever wondered why? Because of what mommy taught you, “Neha, never run away from a situation. If friends ask, why you are not coming? No excuses made, no lies told, simply tell the truth – My family does not like it.”

How backwardly orthodox it sounded? But do you realize that, that one truth released your mind of all the self- inhibitions. It never let self -complex issues even touch you. That straightforwardness and guts have stayed, maybe that’s the reason I am penning our life so openly.

About the lighter moments all I gather is your innocence and penchant for writing. All those lectures that could not retain your attention were spent in scribbling stories. Fictional, factual and incidental your last pages were always full of your wandering thoughts. In fact that was one reason why others were attracted towards you. The ability to express and be original, and trust me Neha, I am still the same. Even today I wish to be naïve as it is indeed blissful. That is one part of you that I am losing on, but will not let it go so easily as my peace of mind, my deep sleep lies there.

I read The Secret twice in the last 5 years, and I connected that I had lived it when I was you. The I-pod, The White Skoda, The freedom to just be, A house with a night view, An understanding husband, A supportive family after marriage……. They were your vibes right? You set the frequency, and the Universe responded. Today I have it all and much more that you dreamt off.

I am glad I was you

I am content of what I am now and

I will be proud of what I become in future

Love you, and I don’t miss you because I am still the same.

I would like to thank Aritra for introducing me. You can read her post here www.thelattemom.com   I would also like to introduce my fellow blogger Misha, you can read her wonderful post on the prompt here http://freshlybakedhead.wordpress.com/

 

2 Replies to “Letter to Self (Younger)”

  1. I have also lived this subdued childhood where I was expected to be the good girl. I used to be the school topper, the competitions winner and the best student every year. I hated it then. But now I think I am what I am because of that.

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